Saturday Morning: A Play in 3 Acts

Scene One: 6:30 am, a darkened bedroom where a male and a female are blissfully sleeping. A 6 year-old boy enters the room. The 6 year-old boy (Quinn) bounces up onto the bed and squirms his way between the sleeping man and sleeping woman. He plops himself down right in between them. The man pulls the little boy to his side of the bed and rolls over to snuggle the boy. The woman rises and uses the bathroom. Upon her return to the bed she finds the boy in the spot where she was previously sleeping. She nudges him to the middle of the bed, climbs in and embraces the boy. Sleeping continues.

Scene Two: 6:45 am, a darkened bedroom where a male, a female, and a 6 year-old boy are blissfully sleeping. Heavy footsteps are heard pounding their way down a hardwood-lined hallway towards the darkened bedroom. The woman hears the footsteps and awakens in time to see an 8 year-old boy approach the foot of the bed. The woman snaps her fingers.

Woman: (whispered) Aiden! Come to this side of the bed. (turns to the 6 year-old and whispers) Quinn. Move over. Aiden's here.

The 8 year-old boy climbs into bed on the left side of the mother. She rolls over to hug him.

Aiden: (whispered) I thought Quinn went to the bathroom, so I waited and waited but he didn't come back. I remembered last night he said he wanted to come snuggle you this morning, so I came in here to find him.

Woman: He's been in here since 6:30. Try to go back to sleep.

Act three: 7:00 am. The 6 year-old boy whispers to the woman that he is returning to his bed. The 8 year-old cannot sleep. The woman hears him giggle a little.

Woman: (whispered) What's funny?

Aiden: (whispered) I was laying here thinking about Soarin' (the ride at Disney World). That made me think about Bee Movie, and I remembered the guy that does the video before you get on Soarin' (Patrick Warburton). He also does the voice for the boyfriend in Bee Movie, which is a Dreamworks film. But, he also does a voice in the Emperor's New Groove, which is a Disney movie. So, that guy works for two different movie companies. Funny.

Woman: (whispered): I love how your mind works, son.

Curtain.

Commentary: Seriously? This is what my 8 year-old son is thinking at 7 o'clock in the morning? Patrick Warburton working for two different movie companies? I really DO love how his mind works!

1-800-222-2222

There's a third time for everything.

Today I had to call poison control for the 3rd time.

Know why?

Quinn and Lillian were playing in the yard. Quinn's voice came over the walkie talkie.

"Mommy? We found some berries in the woods and K. (the neighbor child) says they're not poisonous. Can we eat them?"

I grabbed my walkie talkie and practically screamed into it. "NO NO NO NO NO NO! K. does NOT know what berries are poisonous and which ones aren't! She's only FIVE! DO NOT EAT THE BERRIES! DO NOT EAT THE BERRIES!"

I heard Lillian say in the background, "Quinn already ate one!"

Aw, man.

I told them to bring the berries inside. I lectured all 3 of the kids about eating things without adult permission, and then I sent K. home.

I jumped on the internet and Googled "South Carolina berries red stems". I found out that the plant the berries Quinn ate (which looked a lot like blueberries, except blueberries aren't in season) were possibly Pokeweed Fruit and they are poisonous. A tingle started in my cheeks and went down my spine. Lillian took Camryn back outside and showed her the plant, and then Camryn cut off a stem and brought it back in to me. Pokeweed was indeed the culprit.

Aw, man.

I picked up the phone and called 1-800-222-2222. Poison Control.

Worst case scenario from eating one berry: a touch of the runs.

This, in case you didn't know, is a Pokeweed plant:

I guarantee you that my kids won't ever go near one again.

Bless their hearts.

Friday Fill-Ins 10/16/09

I'm blogging two days in a row. Don't pass out. I know. It's hard to imagine. Breathe deeply. We'll get through it together.

1. So are we going to Disney World in 12 days? Well, I don't know about you, but we are! We've been counting down since around day 170, and our paper chain made from scrapbooking paper scraps has gotten shorter and shorter. Can't believe how fast time has flown.

2. Disney prep is what's up ahead. Gotta make sure the kids get all their school work done (the work they're gonna miss), gotta make packing lists and then pack. Lots to do!

3. I love to be productive. I feel so lazy when I don't do anything all day long. Today has been a good day. I crossed one thing off my list of 4 things to do (don't laugh... all 4 things are big things! I can't do them all in one day!)

4. Last night I was craving chocolate of some sort. I ended up with a sugar free chocolate pudding cup, but I wanted ice cream, like, reallllllllllly bad. Today after I took the kids for haircuts we went to Bruster's and I had a scoop of chocolate almond coconut. It's like Almond Joy ice cream. So yummy.

5. I walk a lot when we go to Disney, and I don't mind it at all, because there is a reason for walking (getting to rides!) I wish I could motivate myself to take walks at home.

6. Knowing that God loves me unconditionally is the true elixir of life!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sitting in the hot tub with my family. The weather is perfect for it! Tomorrow my plans include getting the playroom cleaned up so we can split it into a playroom/office (Quinn wants his room back, and my office is currently in his bedroom). Sunday, I want to get as much of my office moved upstairs as we can before I get too exhausted. It's going to be a big job.

Just Now...

...when I submitted the previous blog post, ads with the following headlines appeared on the right side of my computer screen:

Sympathy Gifts Sympathy Gifts and Flowers. Same Day Delivery Available. 1800flowers.com

Be a Grief Counselor Advance your career - earn a degree in Counseling completely online. www.newdegrees.info

Cheap Bereavement Flights Looking for Bereavement Travel? Find Cheap Rates Here. Save BIG! www.Tripmama.com/Bereavement

Newspaper Obits

Today

....is actually Thursday. It's not Friday. Just in case you were like me and mistook today for Friday just about all day long.

I got my roots touched up and got a haircut today. Thanks for noticing.

It's rained for 3 days straight. And it's cold. Like, turn on the gas logs, simmer a pot of chili in the Crock Pot all day kind of cold. C-O-L-D. Not ready for it to smack me in the face like this. I need a gradual progression into cooler weather. Not the 80 degrees over the weekend, freeze your feet off on the cold tile floor on Monday morning kind of shock to the system. What the heck? Yeah, Al. Global Warming is real. Not made up at all.

Camryn and Aiden participated in an Egyptian burial ceremony. Didn't know they were Egyptian? Didn't know there was a death? Wasn't contacted about making a casserole for the family of the deceased? 'Sokay. It was all part of their history lessons at school. It was cool, from what I hear. I wasn't there. (I was getting the roots and haircut taken care of at the time of the burial. I sent online condolences.)

Camryn played the part of Isis during the ceremony. As part of her costume, she wore mascara and the moms who helped applied black eyeliner to her eyes. She wiped off the eyeliner, but she was still wearing mascara and lip gloss when I saw her this afternoon. Amazing what a little bit of mascara does to her eyes. Now she's begging to start wearing mascara every day because she got so many compliments on it. Not sure how I feel about that. She's eleven.

Since today is Thursday (not FRIDAY, remember?!?) I'm going to head into the den in a minute to watch the season premiere of 30 Rock. Oh, Liz Lemon. How I've missed you and your dorky minions. Kidney Now!

Enjoy your weekend.

Nouns, verbs, prepositional phrases... oh my!

One day last week Stan sent Aiden to the shower. A few minutes later he went in to check on Aiden's bathing progress (you gotta check on him... he likes to get things done fast. Not well... just FAST, like he's constantly competing with an unseen force.)

So Stan opens the curtain and sees Aiden leaning up against the shower wall, arm raised, head resting on his forearm. Naturally, Aiden is startled, but recovers.

Stan says, "Whatcha doin', Aiden?"

His response?

"Ah, Daddy! I was classifying a sentence!"

Aiden's brain is a sponge. Once something gets stuck in there, it doesn't come out. He probably can't read without diagramming sentences, either.