Thankful

On this Thanksgiving (besides the obvious family, shelter, basic needs being met) I am grateful for:

• RID shampoo
• Sisters-in-law who cut hair
• My washing machine's sanitary cycle
• Crock Pots
• Lillian's burning desire to make a corn muffin recipe she found on HelloKitty.com, because it meant I already had cornbread to make dressing today
• Frozen pumpkin pies
• Pajamas
• Swagbucks! I just redeemed for a $15 iTunes gift card. LOVE Swagbucks! Go sign up!
• Rain
• Ice water
• The internet
• Stan not having to work Saturdays anymore for the rest of his life!
• Product testing - I just got a new box of cereal to test yesterday, so my kids have a sugary cereal to eat for breakfast today (I haven't been shopping in awhile)
• Homeschooling
• Did I mention RID shampoo?
• Flip flops (or just basically any shoe I don't have to tie)
• Fuzzy flip flop slippers
• The Southern Plate
• Bisquick
• Grace Church
• Kittens
• A husband who volunteers to make sausage balls because he can see that I'm tired
• Deodorant
• Mike's Hard Lemonade (I'm partial to the Margarita flavors)
• Amazon.com
• Mirrors with 10X magnification
• McRib sandwiches
• General Hospital
• DVR
• The Good Wife (did you watch it Tuesday?!? OH EM GEE!)
• Tweezerman tweezers
• Scrapbooking
• I don't think I mentioned it yet - but I'm super thankful for RID shampoo.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there who still read this blog. I'm thankful for you, too.

XOXO

Destinations

First of all, how good is chocolate cake? Well, really, more to the point - how good is chocolate frosting? From the can? I could eat rubber tires as long as they were slathered in chocolate frosting. Help me, Rhonda.

Tonight we were coming home from having dinner out. Sometime during our conversation I told Quinn that his history lesson tomorrow is going to be about the Hagia Sophia.

(Side note: I'm so excited I can't stand it! I finished reading Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian a few weeks ago; the Hagia Sophia was mentioned several times in that book, and it has piqued my interest.)

Anyway, I was talking about how much I'd love to visit Istanbul, to visit the Hagia Sophia, to see where history happened, etc. Then the kiddos chimed in about historical places they've learned about that they'd like to travel to one day.

They mentioned -

New York City......

Washington, DC....

Rome....

Egypt....

Paris....

I was thrilled that the kids were interested enough in the history of those places that they'd want to physically visit them. I was mentally (and smugly, I admit) patting myself on the back for raising such awesome, smart kids, kids that love studying history, kids that enjoy learning.... you get the picture.

Then a voice came from the back seat of the van and popped my bubble. Lillian shouted loudly...

INDIANA!

Unfortunately she was silenced by the chorus of chuckles that came from her brothers and sister and we never got to find out why she'd choose to visit the Hoosier State.

We'll have to add that one to our list.

Manic Monday 11/15/2010

Have I really not blogged since September 12th? I'm so sorry.

What is your favorite, can't-do-without beauty product?

Um, I don't know. I'm not really a beauty product kind of person. I rarely wear makeup when I'm just lounging at home, and when I do it's just a quick application of some Bare Minerals powder and lip gloss. I do love a good hand lotion, though. My favorite is something I found at Bath & Body Works several years ago - Drenched in Pink. It's actually from Victoria's Secret, but it was sold at B&BW. I loved it so much I bought 3 pumps - one for the den, one for beside my bed and one for the bathroom. The lotion works well and it has a great, long-lasting, light scent. I don't use it so much in the summertime, but in the winter my hands are always dry.

Have you ever colored your hair? What do you think about men coloring their hair and/or facial hair?

I started coloring my hair with some sort of temporary color that came in a grey bottle with a pink top when I was in high school. I think it was called Fanci Full? Anyway, I loved it. I get my hair colored every 4-6 weeks by my hairdresser nowadays. Gotta keep that skunk strip (my grey roots) covered up.

As for men coloring their hair, I really could not care less. Whatever they want to do.

What is your favorite outfit that you own? What makes it so special to you?

I love a great pair of jeans. I live in them in the winter. My favorite "outfit" is probably my pink flannel PJs that have hamburgers and hot dogs printed on them. They're so comfy. I look forward to fall's arrival so it's cold enough to lounge in my "hot dog pajamas", as the kids call them.

Random September Funniness

We use Google voice for voicemail. That means whenever a message is left on my husband's cell, Camryn's cell or the home phone, I get an email containing a transcript of the message. Sometimes I can decipher the message from the transcript, but most of the time it's a garbled mess.

Such was the case last night. On the way home from church I was scrolling through email on my iPhone and saw that Camryn's friend B. had left a message on Camryn's cell. I caught the words "B" and "actor" and that's about it. So, I turned to Camryn and said, "B left you a message. Check your voicemail."

Camryn: "What does she want?"

Me: "I don't know. Something about an actor. Probably has something to do with getting the agent or something. Just check the voicemail." (B. is pursuing acting and just recently got an agent.)

Camryn: "She probably got an acting job."

Quinn: "Or a jetpack."

I'm Diggin' It

I am the meanest mother in the world.

I MADE the boys go outside to play today.

In the heat.

I'm awful.

They took a walkie talkie outside with them, because I told them they only had to be out there for 30 miuntes and they want to make doggone sure they don't go a second over.

(Don't tell them I fudged and added 10 minutes to their timer. It won't kill them.)

So they've gathered all their tools and are digging holes in the dirt beyond our property line. Camryn and I are sitting quietly in the office working on our computers. It's dead silent in here.

Aiden just came over the walkie talkie and said, "Would you ask Daddy to bring home a hoe?"

After much laughter, I said, "Sure, Aiden."

Laugh, laugh, laugh. Snort. Camryn and I are seriously doubled over up here.

Aiden again - "Actually, ask Daddy to bring home 2 hoes."

Seriously? You can't write this stuff any better.

More laughter on my end.

Beep.

Aiden - "Why are you laughing?

Uh oh. Caught.

"Uhhh.... Because it's a funny request, Aiden."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I don't get it. Our hoes broke. We're men. We dig. You need a hoe to excavate holes!"

Ba dum bum.

I'd Prefer a Root Canal, Please

I had an ear infection a few weeks back. It cleared up (mostly) with antibiotics, but I had some fluid on my ear so I did a round of Prednisone.

As soon as I finished the last dose of steroids, I started having bad pain in my teeth and extreme sensitivity to hot and cold. I feared the worst.

Root canal.

I saw my dentist on Wednesday.

It is not an abscessed tooth, thank God.

Though, a root canal might be preferable in this situation, because it is something I could have done to end the pain.

No such luck.

Know what the dentist said?

I clench my jaw too much.

His remedy was....

.....wait for it.....

....ELIMINATE STRESS......

I hear you laughing. Don't worry. I was laughing, too.

My dentist knows me. He knows I have four children. He knows I homeschool.

I think he was trying to be funny when he said I needed to get rid of stress.

Easy for him to say.

I wish I needed a root canal.

Today.... was Monday

Today.

Was.
Monday.

I would've been able to tell even if I'd awakened from a 10-year coma.

I should've gone to Curves today. I didn't. Alarm went off. I hit the off button. I went back to sleep.

I got dressed. I ventured into the kitchen and found Lillian and Quinn in the middle of a showdown over Life. The cereal, not the existence.

Lillian had gotten the box of Life from the pantry, placed it on the counter and then gone to answer the call of nature.

Quinn got up, saw the cereal on the counter, and poured himself a bowl.

Not a problem normally, but today there was just enough Life for one person.

Meltdown in 3....2.....1.....

"QUINN! That's MY LIFE!"

And it went downhill from there, wrapping up with a tantrum (Lillian), a wound (Quinn, the result of a scratch from Lillian) and the repeated screaming of the phrase, "I WANT LIFE! I WANT LIFE! I WANT LIFE!" (Lillian).

She settled for Cap'n Crunch.

I had an online teacher conference to attend at 9 am today. Went to my office around 8:45 to log into the session and make sure everything was good to go.

Not.

My computer wouldn't connect to the internet. At 5 'til 9, my husband, fresh from the shower, got me connected through an alternate (slower!) connection. It worked, but it was spotty. I think I got the gist of what I needed to know, though. Maybe. We'll see.

Started school with the kids after the meeting. Aiden is having a hard time with math. Not doing the problems - writing them on notebook paper. Since kindergarten he's always done math in a workbook. This year he has a hardback book that he can't write in, so he has to write the problem on the paper, work the problem, showing his work and getting an answer. My son LOVES shortcuts. He's very smart and doesn't understand W*H*Y he has to show his work. He just wants to do the problems in his head and write the answers on the page. No can do. I have to send in samples of his work every 6 weeks, so I REALLY need him to do it the right way. It's a daily battle. Today was no exception.

Lunch break. Thank goodness for Papa John's.

During lunch Camryn's friend B. called to report on her first day of school. Camryn is happy with the decision to be homeschooled, but she did get wistful at B's description of an "awesome" new day (with 6 new classmates! Last year there were 3 kids total in Camryn's class - and Camryn was 1 of the 3!) B's call definitely put a damper on Camryn's day. I felt her pain. I miss "old school" and all of our friends. It was bittersweet seeing my friends post their First Day pics on Facebook. My heart is still at the kids' old school, but I know that home school is definitely where God wants us right now.

Once school was over we all piled into the van and took off for Target. I needed bean bag chairs for the school room so the kids can have a comfy spot to sit, relax and read or do work when they get tired of being at their desks. I had that and 2 other things on my Target list. Oh, and the boys raided their money buckets and decided to spend their savings while we were shopping. They actually agreed to combine their funds and buy one new Wii game.

----> MOM BURSTING WITH PRIDE.

We hadn't been in the store 5 minutes when Lillian knocked a display hair dryer off the shelf while I was halfway down the aisle looking at hair straighteners with Camryn.

I turned around to see a stranger scowling at my children. She picked up the hair dryer before I could get to Lillian. I apologized, but I couldn't erase the lady's scowl.

Walk away. Just walk away.

Find and pile 4 bean bags on top of my cart. Proceed to nip the children's heels with the buggy because vision is obstructed by 4 huge bean bags.

Smooth move, Ex Lax.

Pull the pink bean bag off the top of the pile and make Lillian carry it. Get in her face and make sure she knows the plagues that will befall her if she dares to SWING THE BEAN BAG.

Stop every five minutes to remind Lillian not to SWING THE BEAN BAG.

(Laugh when she plops the bean bag in the floor and lays on it when the boys take F-O-R-*FREAKING*E-V-E-R to choose a video game.)

Cry when Aiden chooses his own video game and leaves Quinn with 20 bucks to buy a Wii game that costs $49.99.

Do a jig when Quinn finally settles on a Matchbox helicopter in lieu of the Wii game he cannot afford ("NO YOU CANNOT GET THAT $50 game because MOMMY DOES NOT ISSUE CREDIT!")

Lay down in the floor, kicking and pounding my fists on the concrete upon realizing that the helicopter I have just approved MAKES NOISE.

Always look for noise before agreeing on toy purchases. It's the #4 rule of parenting.

Leave Target.

An hour later.

For a 3 item list.

$243 poorer.

For a 3 item list.

("A 3 item list... a 3 item list..." Remind you of Gilligan's Island? Would it be so awful to be stranded in a place where Marianne makes you coconut cream pies every day? Lovey?)

Hubs met us in the parking lot at Target and we went to dinner.

Quinn knocked over my tea before I even had a chance to Splendafy it.

The waitress brought Camryn's sandwich to the table with mayonnaise on it. Shudder.

Our server got a nice tip tonight, because after she saw the kids behaving the way they did (after we said the blessing), I figured she didn't need to think we were cheap, too.

Home.

Shower.

Carrot cake.

Miss Universe.

Monday (almost) over.

Tuesday's on the way.

Sock It To Me

So yesterday I was snuggling Lillian in my bed.

And then she went wacko crazy.

And I asked her to leave my bed, because she was being way too loud and silly.

But before she left I said, "Lillian - please hand me my TV remote."

And she did.

She handed it to my left eye at about 10 mph.

And I was such a good mother and politely asked her to leave (at least that's how it happened in my memory. I actually think I yelled at her to GET OUT OF MY ROOM! but at least I didn't curse.)

And I have my first black (well, really greyish bluish) eye.

And it hurts to smile.

Sigh.

Manic Monday 8/9/2010

Don't faint. I know it's a shock to see two blog posts from me in such a short span of time. I must be losing my mind.

Don't get overly excited. It's just a meme.

Right now, what's on your mind?

I just got a call from my doctor's office. I'm going to go in for a nuclear stress test, and they were calling to say my GP had faxed all the info to the cardiologist. Before you panic, let me say that NOTHING IS WRONG (that is for my sister and mother!); I just figured with my weight and some recent reflux problems that feel like heart problems (but really most likely aren't) I would go in for a quick check. No alarm, but it's something I wanted to do for peace of mind. I'm paranoid, and my husband told me that he would rather I go ahead and have the test so I know I have a healthy heart. I don't have a family history of heart problems; I don't smoke, drink excessively, I have great blood pressure, blood sugar and my cholesterol was normal last time it was checked. I don't have any other risk factors (besides my weight) and I exercise, so I don't expect the doc to find any problems at all. It's just a thing I want to have done for me. K?

And I know I could do the exercise stress test, but I have balance problems on a treadmill, so the doctor told me just to request the nuclear test from the start.

I'm also thinking about the fact that this is our last Monday of summer break. Next Monday we start homeschool. I'm excited, as I have been all summer, but now that it's a week away I'm just a little anxious. And, I admit, I feel sad that the kids will miss their friends at their old school. Heck, *I* will miss *MY* friends from their old school. It's a big transition, a huge change, but I KNOW that this is the path God has put us on for now, and I want to love every minute. I would appreciate any prayers you could pray on our behalf. They're always welcome!

List 10 things you expect from a good friend.

Honesty, Loyalty, Sense of humor, Steadfastness (is that a word?), Discretion, Supportive (physically and emotionally), Understanding, Unconditional love, Appreciation and Trustworthiness. Not necessarily in that order.

What's something you've done that you wish you hadn't?

I could sit here and ponder all of my bad decisions, things I've done that I wish I hadn't, but I have to admit, every decision that's been made and everything I've done has made me who I am. I can't say I'd be the same person sitting here today if I hadn't lived through some mistakes. God is faithful, even when I am not, and I am thankful for that.

Friday Fill-Ins 8/6/2010

And...here we go!

1. Life is what it is. It's better than I could ask for, really, so I feel like I have no room to complain. The school room is set up, desks in place, and new chairs were purchased yesterday (because after a couple of hours of the kids playing Sims on their laptops yesterday while our cleaning lady cleaned the downstairs, the children flat out told us the seats were not comfortable!) I'm really looking forward to school starting. The kids have done a couple of sample "get ready for school" lessons and it went well. Everyone has comfy earphones now (ear buds did NOT work), and we're all waiting for August 16th to roll around. So why complain? I just don't physically feel well. I hurt my back when Camryn was in Honduras in mid-July. To help myself feel better, I took some Celebrex that I'd had since about 2003. I know, I shouldn't take old drugs, but I was in horrible pain and they did help. Over the course of about 3 days I took maybe 6-7 pills. Not that many, really. But now I have awful reflux, which may or may not have been caused by the Celebrex. I'm not sure, but I do know that I felt fine before the Celebrex (well, except for the back injury!) and Celebrex is a powerful NSAID, which can cause stomach problems. I did 12 days on Prilosec, but I don't feel much better. During all this I developed an ear infection, which was treated with a z-pac antibiotic, but I still had fluid on my ear. Got that taken care of on Wednesday with a 6-day course of steroids. Oh, boy. The ear now feels better, but I feel puffy and cranky from the steroid drugs. I went back to the doctor today for the stomach problems and got some stronger samples of a newer, better drug (because the doctor, knowing how expensive Prevacid is, wanted to save me some money). Hopefully these new drugs will work, because I flat out miss tomato products. But, all in all, that's a drop in the bucket compared to what I know so many others are going through. I can handle giving up Italian and Mexican food temporarily. At least it's me in pain and not my kids or my husband.

2. I hate it when Quinn announces he has to pee, because it means I can't keep going. I have to stop quickly and find him somewhere to go, even if it's a secluded spot where he can open the van door and pee into some bushes. When the boy has to go, the boy has to GO. NOW.

3. My last text message (or IM) ended in these three words: "need 30mg? ask?" Nope, not a spam text. That was from my husband while I was at the doc this morning, making sure I was asking the right questions because I tend to forget to ask pertinent things when I'm in a doctor's presence.

4. Grilled basil chicken and breaded eggplant is what I'm thinking about for dinner sometime soon. In fact, that's what's on the menu tonight, along with some whole wheat pasta or brown rice. We joined a local CSA and in this week's box was a gorgeous eggplant, as well as some leeks, okra, various types of tomatoes and peppers (just what I need right now!) and some potatoes. I've never prepared eggplant before, but you can't go wrong with breading it, right? At least, I hope so. We shall see.

5. On the 1st day of August my sister brought my girls back to us from a visit with my parents in Birmingham. I know my mom reads this blog, so I want to take this opportunity to thank her and my dad for taking my kids at separate times this summer. The kids love being at my parents' house, and I love the alone time their absence gives me. I have the best parents in the world, and my kids have the world's best grandparents! Thank you, Mom and Dad!

6. I hope that when these new meds kick in I will get back to feeling lively and energetic. I've barely made it to Curves in the past month because I just feel icky. I went Wednesday and had a good workout, but I just felt blah the rest of the day. That's not how I usually feel after I've exercised.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to having dinner at home with my family and hopefully playing that game of Clue: Secrets and Spies we've been trying all week to play. Tomorrow my plans include hanging out with the kids, dinner and church. Sunday, I want to see if I can get my husband to hang this clothes line that's seem to have made a permanent home on our kitchen table!

Friday Fill-Ins 6/25/2010

And...here we go!

1. On vacation, I like to do as little as possible. I usually read, especially if we're at the beach. At Disney World there is a lot to do, but we've slowed down and now only visit 1 or 2 parks per trip instead of doing all 4 every time. We build in some pool time into our trips now, and that's a nice perk to being DVC members and going as often as we do. There's no pressure to do it all because hey - we'll be back!

2. I'm sick over all the oil in the ocean. The beautiful Gulf beaches I went to almost every summer as a child - and no one seems to be in a hurry to fix it!

3. One of my favorite vacation spots is the beach. Any beach, really. Just me, a good book (or 3 - depending on how long the vacation is!), buckets for the kids, a comfy chair, some sunscreen and an umbrella, and I could sit in the sand all day long.

4. Is there going to be a full moon tonight?

5. Up, up and away - only 91 days until we're back on a plane bound for Disney World! Can't wait!

6. Bananas are in my freezer. I really need to make some banana bread to use them up.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to watching Friday Night Lights. Tomorrow my plans include sleeping late! Camryn and I have been going to Curves early all this week and I'm pooped! I just want to sleep in tomorrow. Sunday, I want to do something with the whole family - maybe drive up to Caesar's Head or to Flat Rock, NC. We need a family "Caventure" (Car + Adventure).

Nuts, Butts and Biscuits

Yesterday. Was. Great.

Yesterday should've been Mother's Day, because it was Hallmark perfect.

Got up, showered, dressed (in shorts that seemed looser! Thanks, Curves!) Took Quinn and Lillian to their soccer games (1 win, 1 tie, 1 loss). There was a great breeze. The sun was shining. It was just the kind of day that you expect perfection everywhere you turn.

The soccer games ended. I made it back up the big hill after soccer without getting out of breath. Awesome. Took Quinn and Lillian home to change. Told all the kiddos to get in the car. Aiden chose Cracker Barrel for brunch. I love that kid.

Blessed biscuits, Batman - we (a party of 5! On a Saturday!) were seated immediately at Cracker Barrel. Um, hello?!? This never happens. Made me wonder if they were out of eggs or.... everything.

I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of taking 4 children to Cracker Barrel. It's not as easy as you might think. It's like negotiating world peace. I need to take Jimmy Carter with me next time I go. Really. It's breakfast, but it takes skills to make all my kids happy at the Barrel of Crackers. Because...

I have one that wants the blackberry pancakes, except she wants GRITS with that. Side order of grits added is like, $45.50 or something. Outrageous. It makes more sense to get grits with something than order them on the side, so that's where it gets tricky..

I personally have to order a breakfast with grits so that Miss Blackberry Pancakes gets her extra side of starch (add cheese for $.90, please!) 'Sokay, 'cause I'm not big on grits. I know. Shoot me.

But there are like 37 different breakfast combo plates at Cracker Barrel, and they seem to all be named after family members. Uncle Herschel, Grandpa, Momma, etc. I can't keep them all straight. So while the kids are all peppering me with questions, I'm trying to figure out which family member's breakfast I want. And it has to have grits, and enough food left on the plate so that without the grits I still feel like I've eaten something.

Then I have another kid who thinks he can eat like a 40 year-old truck driver. Breaker 1-9, breaker 1-9, he wants country fried steak with his breakfast. So I have to begin the "Do you know what deep fried red meat will do to your 9 year-old arteries, son?" song and dance. "Remember those chicken nuggets we found in the floorboard of the van that time? Like, weeks and weeks after they'd left the fryer at McDonald's? Remember that they were so hard you could throw them at passing cars and leave dents? Yeah. That's your arteries on country fried steak." He relented and ordered the turkey sausage instead. Not great, but better than the alternative. And he wants grits, too. And apples, but please no hash brown casserole. Because potatoes and cheese... that can't be good, right? (I seriously don't know how I failed him in that department, poor child.) So, I have to find a breakfast with grits and apples but no potatoes. Aunt Peggy? Is that you?

Then there are the youngest two of my brood. They each want pancakes and eggs. This is where I have issues with Cracker Barrel. On their kids' menu they offer either pancakes (no sides) OR one egg with one biscuit (no sides). What happens when you have children that want some protein with their short stack, or just want more than one single egg? You have to perform a pantomime and hope that the waitress catches on, can read lips or speak Mandarin. You see, I want to order the Momma's Pancake breakfast off of the adult menu, because it comes with 3 pancakes, 3 slices of bacon and two eggs (one scrambled, one over medium. I think that must throw the fry cook into all sorts of fits. Bipolar eggs. CAN'T SHE MAKE UP HER MIND?) When the food arrives I give 1.5 pancakes and 1.5 slices of bacon and one scrambled egg to one child, then put one over medium egg on the other plate with the leftover pancakes and bacon. And I have to do it FAST while the kids are distracted by that golf tee game, because heaven forbid they think they're actually SHARING a MEAL. They CANNOT hear me say to the waitress, "These two are going to SPLIT THAT." No dice, man. They have to believe that they each ordered and received things that were prepared separately and just for them. Teeny tiny breakfast narcissists.

(Scrolling back up now to see where I was actually going with this post. I got wrapped up in Breakfast Negotiations 2010.)

Anyhow, I say all that to tell you that breakfast ordering, and in fact, consumption, went very peacefully yesterday morning. Like, almost too peacefully. Like, I expected Keanu was tampering with the Matrix or something. It was that good.

And when kids are good, don't we feel all proud and happy? And don't they just know that when they are well behaved we're going to be more likely to say, "Yes, you can waste $5 on a cheap toy because I love you so much and you're so perfect and you ate all your pancakes? Please let me buy you a very loud clicky toy or a hatching dinosaur egg that I will most likely throw away in 6 weeks?"

So that is where I'm going with this.

Quinn chose a hatching dinosaur egg. In the car on the way home he pretended to be the momma dinosaur sitting on the egg. He'd put it between his legs, squawk like a pterodactyl and then move his legs so we could see his egg. Well, I couldn't see it, because I was driving. Which reminds me of a pet peeve of mine: TV show characters that turn toward their passenger and look at them for 5 minutes at a time when they're supposed to be looking AT THE ROAD.

But I digress.

Back to the momma bird.

Quinn said, "You know where penguins keep their eggs?"

(No, I cannot believe I'm going to type his answer here, but I am. Because it's funny. And you'll crack up. Get it? CRACK UP? Like the egg?)

Quinn says, "Between their NUTS and their BUTTS!"

Oh, my. I tried to set him straight, but that led to questions whose answers I was ill prepared for. I bungled the whole thing, and now my 7 year-old thinks pregnant women and animals carrying eggs can't go poop or pee while they're swollen with child.

It doesn't end there, though.

Last night on the way to church I recounted the whole conversation to my husband. And we had to rehash the whole anatomy discussion, and somehow the following phrase came out of Lillian's mouth:

"Girls don't have round nuts. We have flat nuts."

And that, my friends, was Saturday.

Hold the Mustard, please

Remember a few weeks back when I told y'all I had scheduled a mammogram? I went and had it last week. It wasn't the horror women make it out to be. Oh, I was uncomfortable, alright, but not because of the machine. I was more unnerved by Allie, the lady who shot the breeze with me like we were taking a walk together in the park. She acted totally oblivious to the fact that she was manhandling (womanhandling?) my boobies as if she was making hamburger patties for supper. I know she's used to it, but for me, it was weird. The least she could do is buy me dinner first.

I got an envelope from the hospital yesterday. All is good with the boobies. They are healthy. I am glad.

That is all.

Breaking News...

This just in:

I was summoned to Quinn's room by my husband. He asked, "Mommy, Quinnie wants to know what does sinoh mean?"

"Uh, what?"

"You know.... sinoh."

"I'm not familiar with that word."

"Sure you are. You know.... 'Jesus loves me, thi sinoh...'"

Ah, sweet Quinn. We set him straight.

Bless his heart.

On another note, Quinn's "Going Gibby" in his bed tonight. If you are familiar with the Nickelodeon show iCarly then you know Gibby.

Gibby, for whatever reason, is seen without his shirt quite frequently. He's a cute little fella with a little spare tire around his gut.

See?

Despite applying ample sunscreen, Quinn has quite the red neck from being outside all day yesterday. He looks like he's wearing a pink skin necklace.

When I came to the table for dinner, Quinn was shirtless. He said, "I'm going Gibby tonight," meaning, of course, that he's just wearing pants to bed, because shirts hurt his neck.

And again, that is ONLY funny if you watch iCarly.

Goodnight.

Greetings from Lobsterland

Good morning, peeps.

It's been awhile, I know. My heartfelt apologies.

But I'm here now. I didn't forget you.

It'sjustthatlifehasbeensobusylately.

Saturday Camryn fell down 3 stairs and by Monday she couldn't walk. Conveniently, the "it's so hard to walk!" complaint came on PE day. Hmmm.

Cancelled my own podiatrist appointment so I'd have time to take the cripple to the doctor. She had inflamed muscles around her butt bones. Anaprox worked wonders. Off to Costco.

I must admit, the girl is a great Costco companion. Ay, que bueno! (There are pictures on my iPhone that explain that statement, but it's downstairs and I'm upstairs. And it's 8:15 on a Sunday morning. And sorry, I'm not going down to get them, no matter how bad you whine. Deal.)

A buggy full of goodies later, we were excused from Costco. What can I say. It was sample day. So what that I already had 3 jars of jelly in the pantry. It was grape. The kindly grandma was demo-ing strawberry. It had chunks of fruit in it. It made that cracker sing. So I bought 2 jars (You have to. They're handcuffed together so that you must purchase both fugitive jams.)

The rest of Monday is a haze of picking up children from school and trying to force all of the Costco purchases into nooks and crannies in the freezer and pantry. If ever there was a time for a natural disaster that confined us to our homes for a couple of months, this is it. 'Cause I'm stocked up, baby. Stocked UP.

Tuesday brought frustration. I am the chair of the TAC (teacher appreciation committee) at the kids' school. We have regular meetings the first Tuesday of each month. I sent out a reminder email reiterating the importance of April's meeting (planning teacher appreciation week for the first week in May). I had 2 people (of about 15 or so) show. So frustrating. People just don't care, I guess. The three of us in attendance planned the week anyway. My faithfuls got their pick of things to bring/do and the rest of the ladies will be assigned things. That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Tuesday night we headed to FPU (Financial Peace University) at our church. I love Dave Ramsey and am excited to see how his teachings are changing the lives of people in our church. We're on week 7 of 13. I cannot lie and say I'll be sad when we hit week 13. It's a struggle to get everyone home, check homework, get lunches made, eat dinner and be at the church by 6 pm. We don't get home until 9 pm. I know we signed up for this, but I want my Tuesday nights back.

Wednesday was a great day. Went on a field trip with Quinn and his sweet class. We ate a picnic at Falls Park and then enjoyed a performance of Click Clack Moo: Cows That Type at the Gunther Theater. I love our downtown. So picturesque. Here are a few pictures:

Good times, good times.

Thursday I did little to nothing. I spent some Gymbucks at Gymboree.com, tried (in vain) to figure out what's making the freezer stay open just enough to form icicles along the top of the door, saw dark clouds in the sky and prayed that rain would cancel soccer practice (it did!), and went to Copper River for dinner with the fam. There might've been a load of laundry or two. I can't remember. Oh, and I scheduled myself a mammo for next week. A hump day treat, if you will. Yeah, yeah. I know it's a mammogram, but I figured if I shortened it like mani and pedi it might make it sound like fun. "I'm having a mammo on Wednesday!"

Yeah.

Nah.

Then there's Friday. Ah, Friday. TGIF. I had my rescheduled date with the podiatrist. He shaved some gunk off my heel and left me hobbled. No big deal. I ate a Chick-Fil-A sandwich on a WHEAT bun for lunch. I was proud of myself for going wheat. I negated the wheat choice that night at dinner. Date night. Melting Pot. Yum. Went home stuffed. In bed early. Snore.

Saturday was a long one. Took the kids to their school to perform at the Heritage Festival. Planned on staying just until after Lillian performed (12:15) but with the kids scattered in all different directions (bouncy house! popcorn! huge mound of dirt to play on! horses to ride! goats to feed!) I lingered. We headed home around 3:30. Although I managed to sunscreen 3 of the children (Camryn, being 12, is responsible for her own sun protection), I forgot myself.

Just call me Lobster Arms. Or Lobster Nose. Or Lobster Neck. Or, just combine the word Lobster with any part of the anatomy that's exposed to the sun when you're clothed in jeans and a short-sleeved shirt. I'll answer to any of them.

Ouch.

But overall it was a good week. A normal, sane, too-much-fighting-in-the-car kind of week. I'll take it.

Now, there are 5 pounds of hamburger, conveniently formed into patties, in my fridge, begging for me to do something with them already. To my right there's a cat begging for some treats that are hidden in my desk. If you'll excuse me, life calls.

Seacrest out.

Sunny Days, Chasing the Clouds Away...

Today, there is sunshine. Actual sunshine. And warmth. After days of chilly, grey skies, today is a gorgeous day. Beautiful. Life affirming. Praiseworthy.

Daffodils are in bloom. Tree branches bear pink promises that spring is coming. The UPS man was wearing his brown shorts today.

Life is GOOD.

And not just because of the weather.

Last Thursday, while driving down the road in the pouring rain, I got a phone call.

It was the nurse from my gynecologist's office. She told me that my pap smear had come back as abnormal. I scheduled a colposcopy for April 7th (the soonest I could see my doctor) and hung up the phone.

I felt like crying as hard as it was raining, but I had to stay composed because Camryn was sitting beside me. I didn't want to alarm her.

I didn't want to alarm anyone, which is why this will be the first any of you have read of this. I just wanted to get through the test and know what I was facing before ringing anyone's alarms. I didn't even tell my mom. Or my sister. I guess I figured the fewer people that knew, the better I could pretend like it wasn't happening.

I was a wreck the night of the 11th. After the kids went to bed and I got a chance to talk to my husband alone, all I could do was cry. I got up last Friday and called my GYN's office and rescheduled the test. I didn't think I could wait until April 7th. It would've been torture.

Today was the day of the test. I have been pretty good all week, knowing that all was in the hands of my savior. None of my worrying could change the outcome, because I do not make the plans. God does. If the fear welled up, I swallowed, closed my eyes and prayed for peace. I tried to picture myself being soothed in the palm of God. He's got it all under control, so I just rested in that knowledge.

I lost it in the shower this morning, though. Heaving sobs. I just jumped way ahead in my mind and saw my children motherless. That was the end of my peace and calm. For about 5 minutes. Then I heard the phone ring and it jarred me, kind of like God saying, "HEY! I've got this. Stop your boo hooing. We'll walk this road together, because I love you. You are MY CHILD, and I won't leave you or forsake you. It's all good, k?"

I put my new fuzzy socks (with shea butter in them) into my purse so I could wear them at the doctor's office (I hate if my feet get cold in the stirrups... and I see you ladies out there nodding your heads. I know you know what I'm talkin' about!) and I headed out the door. My sweet husband went with me for moral support. And lunch. A man's gotta eat (no, not at the Gyn's office, sillies. At a restaurant. Afterwards. 'Cause while the kids are in school, might as well have a date with the wife, right?)

The worst part of the test was the vinegar that they put on my Cervix. Holy fire, that stuff burned. It was also awkward making polite conversation with a man who's shining a light up your hoo ha while your husband is in the room. On a positive note, the nice nurse warmed the speculum for me before handing it to the doctor. That's something I've never had done for me before, and LADIES... it made a difference. I shall request it from now on out. If it was customary to tip a nurse, I would've slipped her a $20 for sure.

But back to the test. It was probably the most uncomfortable procedure I've ever had done. But oh, how sweet the words the doctor uttered as the flames in my nether regions were dying out: "I do not see any abnormalities. I didn't see anything that needs to be biopsied."

Sweet Jesus. Thank you for answering my prayers.

I should've known it was going to be alright. I just should've known.

Today's entry in my daily devotion book says, "When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you." (Psalm 56:3, NLT) and the devotion that follows says, "How did Jesus endure the terror of the crucifixion? He went first to the Father with his fears. Do the same with yours. Don't avoid life's Gardens of Gethsemane. Enter them. Just don't enter them alone. And while there, be honest. Pounding the ground is permitted. Tears are allowed... And be specific. He knows what you need."

God can be trusted. He can. HE KNOWS WHAT I NEED. I'm so grateful for my God. I'm so thankful for good results today.

Today, there. is. sunshine.

I'm Gonna Have Nightmares

Shopping at OldNavy.com just now.

Saw this - in the plus size section.

A one piece jumpsuit for big girls?!?

I might not be able to sleep.

(At least it doesn't have horizontal stripes. ::SHIVERS::)

Is that you, Rod Serling?

I think I've been watching too much Lost, because I SWEAR. I think I'm living in a parallel universe all of a sudden.

Yesterday Camryn discovered the art of card making. She was bored and came up to my office seeking entertainment. I pointed out the cardmaking supplies, gave her a couple of idea books and the scraps and off she went. She's pretty good at it. Best of all, it makes her happy.

So this afternoon Camryn once again went up to the office to make cards. I did a few chores, then joined her in my office. As I hit the top step, the clutter from the playroom side of the office smacked me in the face (not literally, but it's almost as bad as really being slapped. I abhor clutter.)

I sighed as I parked myself in my chair and said something to the affect of, "I swear, I hate that pile of junk. One day I'm just going to put it all in a trash bag and throw it away."

Camryn said, "I'll clean it for you."

I waited.

And waited.

But the "if you pay me" part of her sentence never came. She just got up and started cleaning.

Zoinks, Shaggy. Is this really my house?

I told her I'd pay her $20 (it was a HUGE mess). She just shrugged and said, "Okay".

She's working for minutes. TracFone minutes. They are more precious than gold to her right now.

But I'm puzzled that she didn't first ask for payment before getting to work.

That part is strange.

But whatever. I'll take it.

Friday Fill Ins 3/12/10

I don't think I've ever had a crazier couple of weeks than the 2 that have just passed. I've gone to bed early almost every night this week (8:30 pm on Monday night... can you believe it?!?)

1. I am so looking forward to spring break at Hilton Head. Fifteen days. Not that I'm counting.

2. I have put off too many things lately, meaning to do them later, and then they've piled up. I need some downtime to get the house back into shape.

3. When you get in the car, and there are no other people in there, and you crank up the stereo, and you pop open the sunroof (if you have one) and get to driving fast and feeling cool because hey, only old people drive slow with the radio down (so you can't possibly be old and stodgy... your radio is loud!), and then, on some remote rural highway, some guy on a Moped, wearing a neon orange knit cap pulls out in front of you and totally kills your music-fed, bass-pumping, fast-driving buzz... you remember that you are, indeed, driving a minivan full of car seats and not a shiny red convertible. Sigh.

4. Housework is a big part of my life.

5. If you need anything, don't ask me for awhile. I need to relax and take care of my responsibilities at home. I mean, I love to sub for the kids' teachers and serve at their school, but I need to lay low for awhile and just chill.

6. My kids are a trip. This week I was subbing for Quinn's 1st grade teacher. Quinn and Lillian have recess at the same time, so I was pushing Lillian on the swings. She was on a swing set with two swings, so I was pushing her and whomever came to use the 2nd swing. I pushed and pushed for about 20 minutes straight, and my shoulders started to hurt, so I stopped. Lillian and I walked to the picnic table to sit down, and a couple of kids approached us and asked if I could push them on the swings. I politely declined, indicating that my shoulder was tired. Lillian put her hands on her hips and said, "Yeah! Her shoulder hurts and her back hurts (it did) and she has a runny nose (I did) and a cough (I did) and she has a headache (I'd had one on Monday) and she IS TIRED! Leave her alone!" I didn't realize she had paid such close attention to my ailments, but evidently she'd been asking her teacher to pray for her poor, tired, sick mommy for a few days. To hear her tell it, I had one foot in the grave.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to taking Camryn and 4 of her friends to Melting Pot for chocolate fondue. It's part of her birthday party. Tomorrow my plans include seeing that Camryn's 4 friends make it home safely, then finishing laundry and going to church tomorrow night. Sunday, I want to RELAX!

Manic Monday 2/22/10

I had to go to my yearly lady doctor appointment today. Never something I look forward to, but I love my gynecologist and enjoy spending time with her (when I'm clothed). She never rushes me and always seems genuinely interested in what's going on in my life, so I don't dread the annual visit. Can't say I'm sad when it's over, though. Well, maybe a little. The soap they use has a fragrance that stays with me. It stays on my hands all day long, and the smell makes me think of having babies. While I'm perfectly content with my four and don't want to dive back into babyhood, I still think of those days fondly and wish I could revisit the times when my kids were infants. Such sweet memories.

If you could invite any five people to your birthday party, who would they be?

Besides my family? Because that'd be a party of five right there. If it's anyone besides my family, then I'd have to start by inviting Harry Connick, Jr. (::SWOON::). I'd ask Paula Deen to bring herself and all her best butter and may-naise recipes ("may-naise".... that's how Paula says it... 2 syllables!) Amy Poehler would be invited, and she could bring Tina Fey if she wanted to. Those ladies crack me up. Last on the list would probably be Joel McHale (from "The Soup" and NBC's "Community") because I think he's one of the funniest people on the planet. I love The Soup! If I could have an alternate guest, just in case, I'd ask The Pioneer Woman to attend, too.

What birthday has been your favorite so far? What about it made it special?

I'd have to say that the birthday I just celebrated was the best in recent history. My parents came to visit, I got some great gifts, some beautiful flowers, and I got to go to Great Wolf Lodge with my family. We had a SUPER time. I don't think we've had such an awesome family vacation in a long time.

What one thing are you craving today?

More time to get things done.

Tell It Like It Is, Son

So I'm sittin' here in the den with the laptop in my lap, wearing my Snuggie, relaxing after a long day. Lillian is playing outside with a neighborhood friend. She came inside briefly to get her bicycle helmet, then went back out, 'cause she and her buddy were going to ride bikes.

'Cept Lillo forgot to tell her bud that she was going inside to fetch headgear. When she went back out, her friend was crying and walking home because she thought Lillian had abandoned her.

Note to self: teach Lillian about the concept of giving someone a heads up.

Lillian comes back inside and starts whining to her daddy about what's going on. He and I both give Lillian the same advice: go back over to V's house and tell her you want to keep playing.

Whine, whine, whine. Scream, kick, whine.

Hubby says to Lillian: "Do you want V to ride bikes with you?"

L: "Yeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhh...."

Hub: "Then you have to go tell her that, because you just standing here screaming and crying is NOT going to get V. to come back and play with you."

And from the corner of the dining room comes a voice, an unmistakable voice of wisdom and clarity. It is Quinn, speaking from where he has parked himself in front of the Wii.

He says, "Well, if she screams loud enough, it will."

My boys have a knack for telling it like it is.

100 Days

My baby girl has been in kindergarten for 100 days as of Tuesday (it would've been Monday, but the snow forced us to miss a day of school.)

Here is the book she made as part of the 100 day celebration her class had.

Yes, folks. That's 100 SERVANTS. As if the one she already has (me) wasn't enough. She needs 99 more, I guess.

Smart kid I have there. I couldn't do 100 spiders, either. Our life isn't an episode of Fear Factor, after all.


You'd get a nasty bellyache, but yeah... 100 cupcakes is a dream.



Not if you ate 100 cupcakes, honey. You couldn't lift 100 of yourself (well, maybe if each one of you only had 1 cupcake each).



Spiders and bugs? You'd think we need an exterminator. Maybe she was sitting with boys when she filled this out. I swear our house is clean, y'all.



Make those tents, dear. (See "100 cupcakes")

On a funny note, I told Lillian that dresses was spelled with an -es at the end and she begged to differ. "It's 'DRES' 'S', Mommy!" as she pronounced the "s" as "-es". Something tells me that the K5 kids haven't discussed suffixes and plurals yet.

So, 100 days... that means only 80 more, right?!?

YAHOO!

Log Your Memory 1/13/10

Today's Log Your Memory question is this:

Create a list of 100 things you want to do before you die.

1. Be completely debt free

2. Take a cross country trip

3. Take an Alaskan cruise

4. Ride a train across the United States

5. Visit Hawaii

6. Go back to Paris

7. Visit Jerusalem

8. Tour Pompeii

9. Visit Masada (I read a book about it in 5th grade and have been fascinated about it since!)

10. Go on a zipline

11. Build a new house with double ovens and a huge laundry room

12. See all 4 of my children grow to adulthood and find success

13. Lose 100 pounds

14. Grow my fingernails out

15. Try being a blonde for awhile

16. Visit New York City

17. Vegas, baby

18. Live in a loft downtown

19. Own a convertible

20. Stay in a luxury hut on stilts in the ocean.

21. Give a bunch of money away

22. Help Samaritan's Purse give away their Operation Christmas Child boxes

23. Go on another mission trip

24. Take a culinary tour of New Orleans (Emeril's, Brennan's, Delmonico, Antoine's)

25. See Saturday Night Live... LIVE!

26. Travel Route 66 from beginning to end

27. Own a Maine Coon

28. Eat at the chef's table at Victoria & Albert's (Grand Floridian, Disney World)

29. Go to an Alabama vs. Auburn football game

30. Go to a professional baseball game (nope, never been!)

31. Visit the British Isles

32. Tour Britain, Scotland and Ireland

33. Swim with a dolphin

34. Sail on a private yacht

35. Take a few girlfriends and my sister to Disney World for a girls' trip (or my girls, my sister and my momma!)

36. Take a cake decorating class

37. Take a ballroom dance class

38. Go to San Antonio to see my friend Joanie again. She's one heck of a gal and I miss her!

39. Attend a CHA conference

40. See my sister find someone she can spend the rest of her life with, someone who treats her like she deserves.

41. Go to Spokane, Washington with my dad to visit all the places he knew growing up

42. Take my kids to a NASCAR race with my dad.

43. Be on Jeopardy!

44. See the entire family go one Christmas without giving or getting gifts in exchange for providing for other families who need it more

45. Spend Christmas in Colorado

46. See Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon and Yosemite (again.... and this time remember it because I'm not 18 months-old!)

47. See school vouchers become a reality

48. Walk the Great Wall of China

49. See a space shuttle launch

50. Hear at least one of my children say, "Mom, you were right." And in case that was something my own mom has on her list, I'll say, "Mom, you were right!" about so very many things.

51. Know that my mother-in-law is living within her means and has no credit card balances.

52. Hold a snake.

53. Scuba dive.

54. Visit Auschwitz, Dachau and any other tourable former concentration camps.

55. Read Gone With the Wind because the book is different, oh, so different from the movie.

56. Take my kids to the Louvre.

57. Return to Madrid and tour the Prado. It's closed on Mondays, so I didn't get to see it.

58. Watch the running of the bulls in Pamplona (I don't want to run with them... just watch!)

59. Learn how to quilt. I have a bunch of old t-shirts that I'd love to turn into a quilt.

60. Learn how to can veggies.

61. Grow a successful garden (thus the reason for learning to can veggies!)

62. Own chickens so we can have fresh eggs.

63. Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity.

64. Take the kids to see Niagara Falls.

65. Go back to King's Island and ride The Beast.

66. Meet The Pioneer Woman. I'm not obsessed with her or anything, but she seems so very cool.

67. See Bette Midler in concert

68. Go to Maine.

69. Take voice lessons.

70. Go to the Miss America pageant

71. Visit historic battle sites: the Ardennes, Iwo Jima, Normandy, etc.

72. Take a trip on the Orient Express

73. Attend at least one major sporting event: the Super Bowl, the Olympics, the World Series, etc.

74. Skydive.

75. Ride a camel into the desert.

76. Be one of many in the crowd counting down to the New Year in New York City.

77. Spend Christmas on the beach.

78. Donate money and put my name on something: a college scholarship, a building, etc.

79. Kiss the Blarney stone.

80. Drive really fast in the Bonneville Salt Flats.

81. Get a (very small) tattoo.

82.Minimize existing clutter and excess possessions

83. Go to the Kentucky Derby and drink a mint julep.

84. Ride a gondola in Venice.

85. Ride a mechanical bull.

86. See the cherry blossoms in Washington, DC when they're in full bloom

87. See the Pyramids.

88. See Stonehenge.

89. Visit Machu Picchu.

90. Visit all 50 states.

91. Go on an African safari.

92. Drive Down Highway 101 (West Coast Highway)

93. Tour Anne Frank's House.

94. Visit Alcatraz.

95. See the Aurora Borealis.

96. Visit the Top Ten US Lighthouses.

97. Watch the Changing of the Guard At Buckingham Palace

98. Sleep in an Igloo

99. Kiss my husband on top of the Eiffel Tower

100. Go a month without television