I'm Diggin' It

I am the meanest mother in the world.

I MADE the boys go outside to play today.

In the heat.

I'm awful.

They took a walkie talkie outside with them, because I told them they only had to be out there for 30 miuntes and they want to make doggone sure they don't go a second over.

(Don't tell them I fudged and added 10 minutes to their timer. It won't kill them.)

So they've gathered all their tools and are digging holes in the dirt beyond our property line. Camryn and I are sitting quietly in the office working on our computers. It's dead silent in here.

Aiden just came over the walkie talkie and said, "Would you ask Daddy to bring home a hoe?"

After much laughter, I said, "Sure, Aiden."

Laugh, laugh, laugh. Snort. Camryn and I are seriously doubled over up here.

Aiden again - "Actually, ask Daddy to bring home 2 hoes."

Seriously? You can't write this stuff any better.

More laughter on my end.

Beep.

Aiden - "Why are you laughing?

Uh oh. Caught.

"Uhhh.... Because it's a funny request, Aiden."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I don't get it. Our hoes broke. We're men. We dig. You need a hoe to excavate holes!"

Ba dum bum.

I'd Prefer a Root Canal, Please

I had an ear infection a few weeks back. It cleared up (mostly) with antibiotics, but I had some fluid on my ear so I did a round of Prednisone.

As soon as I finished the last dose of steroids, I started having bad pain in my teeth and extreme sensitivity to hot and cold. I feared the worst.

Root canal.

I saw my dentist on Wednesday.

It is not an abscessed tooth, thank God.

Though, a root canal might be preferable in this situation, because it is something I could have done to end the pain.

No such luck.

Know what the dentist said?

I clench my jaw too much.

His remedy was....

.....wait for it.....

....ELIMINATE STRESS......

I hear you laughing. Don't worry. I was laughing, too.

My dentist knows me. He knows I have four children. He knows I homeschool.

I think he was trying to be funny when he said I needed to get rid of stress.

Easy for him to say.

I wish I needed a root canal.

Today.... was Monday

Today.

Was.
Monday.

I would've been able to tell even if I'd awakened from a 10-year coma.

I should've gone to Curves today. I didn't. Alarm went off. I hit the off button. I went back to sleep.

I got dressed. I ventured into the kitchen and found Lillian and Quinn in the middle of a showdown over Life. The cereal, not the existence.

Lillian had gotten the box of Life from the pantry, placed it on the counter and then gone to answer the call of nature.

Quinn got up, saw the cereal on the counter, and poured himself a bowl.

Not a problem normally, but today there was just enough Life for one person.

Meltdown in 3....2.....1.....

"QUINN! That's MY LIFE!"

And it went downhill from there, wrapping up with a tantrum (Lillian), a wound (Quinn, the result of a scratch from Lillian) and the repeated screaming of the phrase, "I WANT LIFE! I WANT LIFE! I WANT LIFE!" (Lillian).

She settled for Cap'n Crunch.

I had an online teacher conference to attend at 9 am today. Went to my office around 8:45 to log into the session and make sure everything was good to go.

Not.

My computer wouldn't connect to the internet. At 5 'til 9, my husband, fresh from the shower, got me connected through an alternate (slower!) connection. It worked, but it was spotty. I think I got the gist of what I needed to know, though. Maybe. We'll see.

Started school with the kids after the meeting. Aiden is having a hard time with math. Not doing the problems - writing them on notebook paper. Since kindergarten he's always done math in a workbook. This year he has a hardback book that he can't write in, so he has to write the problem on the paper, work the problem, showing his work and getting an answer. My son LOVES shortcuts. He's very smart and doesn't understand W*H*Y he has to show his work. He just wants to do the problems in his head and write the answers on the page. No can do. I have to send in samples of his work every 6 weeks, so I REALLY need him to do it the right way. It's a daily battle. Today was no exception.

Lunch break. Thank goodness for Papa John's.

During lunch Camryn's friend B. called to report on her first day of school. Camryn is happy with the decision to be homeschooled, but she did get wistful at B's description of an "awesome" new day (with 6 new classmates! Last year there were 3 kids total in Camryn's class - and Camryn was 1 of the 3!) B's call definitely put a damper on Camryn's day. I felt her pain. I miss "old school" and all of our friends. It was bittersweet seeing my friends post their First Day pics on Facebook. My heart is still at the kids' old school, but I know that home school is definitely where God wants us right now.

Once school was over we all piled into the van and took off for Target. I needed bean bag chairs for the school room so the kids can have a comfy spot to sit, relax and read or do work when they get tired of being at their desks. I had that and 2 other things on my Target list. Oh, and the boys raided their money buckets and decided to spend their savings while we were shopping. They actually agreed to combine their funds and buy one new Wii game.

----> MOM BURSTING WITH PRIDE.

We hadn't been in the store 5 minutes when Lillian knocked a display hair dryer off the shelf while I was halfway down the aisle looking at hair straighteners with Camryn.

I turned around to see a stranger scowling at my children. She picked up the hair dryer before I could get to Lillian. I apologized, but I couldn't erase the lady's scowl.

Walk away. Just walk away.

Find and pile 4 bean bags on top of my cart. Proceed to nip the children's heels with the buggy because vision is obstructed by 4 huge bean bags.

Smooth move, Ex Lax.

Pull the pink bean bag off the top of the pile and make Lillian carry it. Get in her face and make sure she knows the plagues that will befall her if she dares to SWING THE BEAN BAG.

Stop every five minutes to remind Lillian not to SWING THE BEAN BAG.

(Laugh when she plops the bean bag in the floor and lays on it when the boys take F-O-R-*FREAKING*E-V-E-R to choose a video game.)

Cry when Aiden chooses his own video game and leaves Quinn with 20 bucks to buy a Wii game that costs $49.99.

Do a jig when Quinn finally settles on a Matchbox helicopter in lieu of the Wii game he cannot afford ("NO YOU CANNOT GET THAT $50 game because MOMMY DOES NOT ISSUE CREDIT!")

Lay down in the floor, kicking and pounding my fists on the concrete upon realizing that the helicopter I have just approved MAKES NOISE.

Always look for noise before agreeing on toy purchases. It's the #4 rule of parenting.

Leave Target.

An hour later.

For a 3 item list.

$243 poorer.

For a 3 item list.

("A 3 item list... a 3 item list..." Remind you of Gilligan's Island? Would it be so awful to be stranded in a place where Marianne makes you coconut cream pies every day? Lovey?)

Hubs met us in the parking lot at Target and we went to dinner.

Quinn knocked over my tea before I even had a chance to Splendafy it.

The waitress brought Camryn's sandwich to the table with mayonnaise on it. Shudder.

Our server got a nice tip tonight, because after she saw the kids behaving the way they did (after we said the blessing), I figured she didn't need to think we were cheap, too.

Home.

Shower.

Carrot cake.

Miss Universe.

Monday (almost) over.

Tuesday's on the way.

Sock It To Me

So yesterday I was snuggling Lillian in my bed.

And then she went wacko crazy.

And I asked her to leave my bed, because she was being way too loud and silly.

But before she left I said, "Lillian - please hand me my TV remote."

And she did.

She handed it to my left eye at about 10 mph.

And I was such a good mother and politely asked her to leave (at least that's how it happened in my memory. I actually think I yelled at her to GET OUT OF MY ROOM! but at least I didn't curse.)

And I have my first black (well, really greyish bluish) eye.

And it hurts to smile.

Sigh.

Manic Monday 8/9/2010

Don't faint. I know it's a shock to see two blog posts from me in such a short span of time. I must be losing my mind.

Don't get overly excited. It's just a meme.

Right now, what's on your mind?

I just got a call from my doctor's office. I'm going to go in for a nuclear stress test, and they were calling to say my GP had faxed all the info to the cardiologist. Before you panic, let me say that NOTHING IS WRONG (that is for my sister and mother!); I just figured with my weight and some recent reflux problems that feel like heart problems (but really most likely aren't) I would go in for a quick check. No alarm, but it's something I wanted to do for peace of mind. I'm paranoid, and my husband told me that he would rather I go ahead and have the test so I know I have a healthy heart. I don't have a family history of heart problems; I don't smoke, drink excessively, I have great blood pressure, blood sugar and my cholesterol was normal last time it was checked. I don't have any other risk factors (besides my weight) and I exercise, so I don't expect the doc to find any problems at all. It's just a thing I want to have done for me. K?

And I know I could do the exercise stress test, but I have balance problems on a treadmill, so the doctor told me just to request the nuclear test from the start.

I'm also thinking about the fact that this is our last Monday of summer break. Next Monday we start homeschool. I'm excited, as I have been all summer, but now that it's a week away I'm just a little anxious. And, I admit, I feel sad that the kids will miss their friends at their old school. Heck, *I* will miss *MY* friends from their old school. It's a big transition, a huge change, but I KNOW that this is the path God has put us on for now, and I want to love every minute. I would appreciate any prayers you could pray on our behalf. They're always welcome!

List 10 things you expect from a good friend.

Honesty, Loyalty, Sense of humor, Steadfastness (is that a word?), Discretion, Supportive (physically and emotionally), Understanding, Unconditional love, Appreciation and Trustworthiness. Not necessarily in that order.

What's something you've done that you wish you hadn't?

I could sit here and ponder all of my bad decisions, things I've done that I wish I hadn't, but I have to admit, every decision that's been made and everything I've done has made me who I am. I can't say I'd be the same person sitting here today if I hadn't lived through some mistakes. God is faithful, even when I am not, and I am thankful for that.

Friday Fill-Ins 8/6/2010

And...here we go!

1. Life is what it is. It's better than I could ask for, really, so I feel like I have no room to complain. The school room is set up, desks in place, and new chairs were purchased yesterday (because after a couple of hours of the kids playing Sims on their laptops yesterday while our cleaning lady cleaned the downstairs, the children flat out told us the seats were not comfortable!) I'm really looking forward to school starting. The kids have done a couple of sample "get ready for school" lessons and it went well. Everyone has comfy earphones now (ear buds did NOT work), and we're all waiting for August 16th to roll around. So why complain? I just don't physically feel well. I hurt my back when Camryn was in Honduras in mid-July. To help myself feel better, I took some Celebrex that I'd had since about 2003. I know, I shouldn't take old drugs, but I was in horrible pain and they did help. Over the course of about 3 days I took maybe 6-7 pills. Not that many, really. But now I have awful reflux, which may or may not have been caused by the Celebrex. I'm not sure, but I do know that I felt fine before the Celebrex (well, except for the back injury!) and Celebrex is a powerful NSAID, which can cause stomach problems. I did 12 days on Prilosec, but I don't feel much better. During all this I developed an ear infection, which was treated with a z-pac antibiotic, but I still had fluid on my ear. Got that taken care of on Wednesday with a 6-day course of steroids. Oh, boy. The ear now feels better, but I feel puffy and cranky from the steroid drugs. I went back to the doctor today for the stomach problems and got some stronger samples of a newer, better drug (because the doctor, knowing how expensive Prevacid is, wanted to save me some money). Hopefully these new drugs will work, because I flat out miss tomato products. But, all in all, that's a drop in the bucket compared to what I know so many others are going through. I can handle giving up Italian and Mexican food temporarily. At least it's me in pain and not my kids or my husband.

2. I hate it when Quinn announces he has to pee, because it means I can't keep going. I have to stop quickly and find him somewhere to go, even if it's a secluded spot where he can open the van door and pee into some bushes. When the boy has to go, the boy has to GO. NOW.

3. My last text message (or IM) ended in these three words: "need 30mg? ask?" Nope, not a spam text. That was from my husband while I was at the doc this morning, making sure I was asking the right questions because I tend to forget to ask pertinent things when I'm in a doctor's presence.

4. Grilled basil chicken and breaded eggplant is what I'm thinking about for dinner sometime soon. In fact, that's what's on the menu tonight, along with some whole wheat pasta or brown rice. We joined a local CSA and in this week's box was a gorgeous eggplant, as well as some leeks, okra, various types of tomatoes and peppers (just what I need right now!) and some potatoes. I've never prepared eggplant before, but you can't go wrong with breading it, right? At least, I hope so. We shall see.

5. On the 1st day of August my sister brought my girls back to us from a visit with my parents in Birmingham. I know my mom reads this blog, so I want to take this opportunity to thank her and my dad for taking my kids at separate times this summer. The kids love being at my parents' house, and I love the alone time their absence gives me. I have the best parents in the world, and my kids have the world's best grandparents! Thank you, Mom and Dad!

6. I hope that when these new meds kick in I will get back to feeling lively and energetic. I've barely made it to Curves in the past month because I just feel icky. I went Wednesday and had a good workout, but I just felt blah the rest of the day. That's not how I usually feel after I've exercised.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to having dinner at home with my family and hopefully playing that game of Clue: Secrets and Spies we've been trying all week to play. Tomorrow my plans include hanging out with the kids, dinner and church. Sunday, I want to see if I can get my husband to hang this clothes line that's seem to have made a permanent home on our kitchen table!