Random September Funniness

We use Google voice for voicemail. That means whenever a message is left on my husband's cell, Camryn's cell or the home phone, I get an email containing a transcript of the message. Sometimes I can decipher the message from the transcript, but most of the time it's a garbled mess.

Such was the case last night. On the way home from church I was scrolling through email on my iPhone and saw that Camryn's friend B. had left a message on Camryn's cell. I caught the words "B" and "actor" and that's about it. So, I turned to Camryn and said, "B left you a message. Check your voicemail."

Camryn: "What does she want?"

Me: "I don't know. Something about an actor. Probably has something to do with getting the agent or something. Just check the voicemail." (B. is pursuing acting and just recently got an agent.)

Camryn: "She probably got an acting job."

Quinn: "Or a jetpack."

Breaking News...

This just in:

I was summoned to Quinn's room by my husband. He asked, "Mommy, Quinnie wants to know what does sinoh mean?"

"Uh, what?"

"You know.... sinoh."

"I'm not familiar with that word."

"Sure you are. You know.... 'Jesus loves me, thi sinoh...'"

Ah, sweet Quinn. We set him straight.

Bless his heart.

On another note, Quinn's "Going Gibby" in his bed tonight. If you are familiar with the Nickelodeon show iCarly then you know Gibby.

Gibby, for whatever reason, is seen without his shirt quite frequently. He's a cute little fella with a little spare tire around his gut.

See?

Despite applying ample sunscreen, Quinn has quite the red neck from being outside all day yesterday. He looks like he's wearing a pink skin necklace.

When I came to the table for dinner, Quinn was shirtless. He said, "I'm going Gibby tonight," meaning, of course, that he's just wearing pants to bed, because shirts hurt his neck.

And again, that is ONLY funny if you watch iCarly.

Goodnight.

Tell It Like It Is, Son

So I'm sittin' here in the den with the laptop in my lap, wearing my Snuggie, relaxing after a long day. Lillian is playing outside with a neighborhood friend. She came inside briefly to get her bicycle helmet, then went back out, 'cause she and her buddy were going to ride bikes.

'Cept Lillo forgot to tell her bud that she was going inside to fetch headgear. When she went back out, her friend was crying and walking home because she thought Lillian had abandoned her.

Note to self: teach Lillian about the concept of giving someone a heads up.

Lillian comes back inside and starts whining to her daddy about what's going on. He and I both give Lillian the same advice: go back over to V's house and tell her you want to keep playing.

Whine, whine, whine. Scream, kick, whine.

Hubby says to Lillian: "Do you want V to ride bikes with you?"

L: "Yeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhh...."

Hub: "Then you have to go tell her that, because you just standing here screaming and crying is NOT going to get V. to come back and play with you."

And from the corner of the dining room comes a voice, an unmistakable voice of wisdom and clarity. It is Quinn, speaking from where he has parked himself in front of the Wii.

He says, "Well, if she screams loud enough, it will."

My boys have a knack for telling it like it is.

Passport Not Required

We have a 17 year-old nephew, Christopher, whose toys the boys have inherited through the years. Quinn's favorite are the Hot Wheels that he got in a huge bucket. He keeps them in his room.

A few nights ago the hubby was doing the bedtime routine with Quinn and Quinn posed this question to his dad:

"Did Christopher ever go to China? 'Cause all his toys say 'Made in China' on them."

Hubby put in a call to his brother and confirmed that Christopher had never indeed been to China.

Quinn is mystified.

Post Holiday Humor

We just got back from Target.

My wonderful sister bought each of my children a $25 Target gift card as their holiday gift. Camryn spent hers 2 days after Christmas. In an effort to avoid another day of the "I've-been-in-my-pajamas-too-long-doing-nothing-and-the-Christmas-decorations-are-already-put-away-and-we-had-our-14 year old-cat-put-to-sleep-and-that-makes-me-sad" blues, I decided to take the kids to Target to spend their gift cards.

Yeah.

Despite some drama over a lost gift card (Quinn), we made it to Target and the toy choice process was relatively easy. Aiden immediately gravitated towards the Nintendo DS games. Quinn chose 2 large Hot Wheels toys (a fire truck and a tractor trailer) and a large race car. Lillian picked out a Little Mermaid doll, some dress up shoes and a tricked out Paris Hilton style Tini Puppini "mini dog" named Tisha (Aiden says she looks like a girl with a dog head and a mustache).

So here's the scene: Lillian has donned her plastic dress-up shoes and a shiny green beaded necklace and she's lovingly brushing Tisha's mane of hair. Quinn has his fire truck in the den, putting out pretend blazes.

Suddenly, without warning, Lillian stops brushing Tisha's hair and shouts, "Quinn! Quinn! Come quick! Tisha's tail is ON FIRE! QUINN! HURRY! HURRY!"

Calmly, Quinn responds, "Sorry, Lillo. I only put out fires in buildings. I don't do dogs."

Poor, poor Tisha.

Two Things

Two weeks since I blogged last. Sorry. I've been a little busy and a little sick. I can't fix the busy, but I went to the doctor yesterday to fix the sick. Bronchitis. Sounds like I have Pop Rocks in my chest. I have to say that antibiotics are wonderful things. I felt about 50% better just 2 hours after taking the first Augmentin yesterday. Glory. The codeine in the cough medicine wasn't bad, either. I slept GOOD last night.

So here are the two things I want to share today.

I've been downloading the free Christmas songs that Amazon has been offering. Today one of them was "I Celebrate the Day" by Relient K. I LOVE this song! You can download it for FREE here. (If you have iTunes you will need to download Amazon's free downloader. When you download the songs they will automatically show up in iTunes.)

"I Celebrate the Day"

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare the things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life

The other thing I want to share made me chuckle (but not too hard, because deep laughter leads to continued coughing. I so miss deep laughter!)

I was snuggling Quinn on the couch today. When I snuggle my kiddos I like to just breathe in their scent. I love how their hair smells. So, that's what I was doing while I was cuddling Quinn today: sniffing his hair. I told him, "Quinn, your hugs give me so much energy and make me feel all better. I just love snuggling you and smelling your hair. It smells like sweet little 7 year-old boy hair..." It was a moment. I was feeling it. Blissful and warm and sweet, like a mug full of rich hot chocolate.

Then Quinn said, "You smell like bacon."

Boys just know how to stomp all over our sappy times, don't they?

Farm Livin' is the Life for Me!

Today I was straightening the playroom with Quinn and Lillian. Every time I help clean the playroom, my posterior region gets sore (it's all the bending over). Who knew cleaning the playroom would give you such a glute workout?

The last thing we did today was put together all the puzzles whose pieces had decided to scatter themselves about the room. When we were done, I stood up. I felt the butt workout when I did that.

Using my best deep Southern drawl I said, "I do believe mah boo-tay hurts. Oh, yes, my boo-tay hurts!"

Quinn said, "I know some people who talk like that!"

"Really? Who do you know who talks like that?"

At the same time, Quinn and Lillian yelled, "EMMA!"

I chuckled when Emma's name was mentioned, because they were right. Emma is the cutest little redhead you ever will meet. I love her and her sweet momma. They both have very cute Southern accents. Emma doesn't know it, but she's going to marry my Quinn one day (she's in his class).

That's another story for another day, though.

You know the reason Emma talks like that (according to Quinn)?

Because she lives on a farm.

HA!

1-800-222-2222

There's a third time for everything.

Today I had to call poison control for the 3rd time.

Know why?

Quinn and Lillian were playing in the yard. Quinn's voice came over the walkie talkie.

"Mommy? We found some berries in the woods and K. (the neighbor child) says they're not poisonous. Can we eat them?"

I grabbed my walkie talkie and practically screamed into it. "NO NO NO NO NO NO! K. does NOT know what berries are poisonous and which ones aren't! She's only FIVE! DO NOT EAT THE BERRIES! DO NOT EAT THE BERRIES!"

I heard Lillian say in the background, "Quinn already ate one!"

Aw, man.

I told them to bring the berries inside. I lectured all 3 of the kids about eating things without adult permission, and then I sent K. home.

I jumped on the internet and Googled "South Carolina berries red stems". I found out that the plant the berries Quinn ate (which looked a lot like blueberries, except blueberries aren't in season) were possibly Pokeweed Fruit and they are poisonous. A tingle started in my cheeks and went down my spine. Lillian took Camryn back outside and showed her the plant, and then Camryn cut off a stem and brought it back in to me. Pokeweed was indeed the culprit.

Aw, man.

I picked up the phone and called 1-800-222-2222. Poison Control.

Worst case scenario from eating one berry: a touch of the runs.

This, in case you didn't know, is a Pokeweed plant:

I guarantee you that my kids won't ever go near one again.

Bless their hearts.

Another one rides a bike...

Three down, one to go!

Quinn started riding his bike without training wheels this week, thanks mostly to Camryn's cheerleading and teaching.

Here she is giving Quinn a pep talk on Tuesday night:



Giving it a try (below). Balancing and kicking off was his hardest problem.



Quinn took a tumble, but (to Camryn's amazement) he got right back on the bike and kept trying. Camryn was puzzled at Quinn's resolve because she gave up and quit riding the bike for almost two years after her first fall.



He had made progress at the end of day one and was ready for another lesson on Wednesday. Camryn couldn't wait to teach him some more. Here he is, both feet on the bike, but with a wobbly wheel. Those with cameras really had to stay out of the way ; )



Another fall, but again, he got right back up and tried again.



Watching Aiden soar. Aiden just couldn't stand it; he had to come out and show baby brother how bikes are ridden.



Up the driveway he went... the theory being that more road meant better attempts at riding further and staying on the bike.



And he was right. As soon as he hit the cul de sac, he was off, giggling that choking, happy laugh of triumph and disbelief that he was actually RIDING the bike!





As soon as he made a couple of passes around the circle, he dropped the bike and came running as fast as he could down the driveway... to hug ME! I didn't do a thing but take the pictures. Camryn was the one responsible for this accomplishment. She really, really helped him stay confident and learn. She's got a gift for that sort of thing.

I'm so proud of them both!

Some things are better left to the imagination...

So while were in Charleston last week I had to take Quinn to the potty. Nothing new there.

We used the women's restroom, of course, and for the first time Quinn took notice of a tampon vending machine hanging on the wall. It was large and silver and shiny. You couldn't help but notice it.

He said, "Boy, I wish I had some money right now!"

I followed his gaze to the machine. I had to let this conversation play out just to see where it was going.

"Oh, yeah? Why is that? I asked.

"'Cause I'd buy something out of that machine!" Quinn answered.

"Like what?"

"Uh, what does it sell?"

"What do you think it sells?"

"FOOD!"

I laughed.

"Why are you laughing?" Quinn said.

"Oh, 'cause you're funny. Quinnie. That machine doesn't sell food."

(Dumb move, 'cause you know what the next question is, doncha?)

"WHAT DOES IT SELL?"

Yikes. Stuck!

"It sells stuff for ladies."

"Like what? Dresses?"

We both laughed.

"No, stuff girls need when they grow up," I answered.

The next line is classic Quinn.

"Like a cane?"

I belly laughed all the way to the car, where I shared the story with the rest of the family.

Poor Quinn. He never did find out what magical things that machine held, but he took pride in the fact that he made us all laugh.... three of us harder than the rest.....

Wordless Wednesday

The 12 Dogs of Christmas

As sung by Quinn, age 6:

I Love Wednesdays!

It's been a rough couple of days around here. Aiden got sick on Sunday night and I got his bug on Monday, so I was down for about 24 hours. Upon returning from a meeting Monday night, my husband decided his shoulder pain could possibly be related to heart trouble, so he drove himself to the emergency room. I was too sick to take him, and although I tried to get him to call his brother to take him, he insisted on driving himself.

Anyhow, he spent the night in the hospital Monday night. He said he couldn't sleep for 2 reasons: (1) the compressor on the mini fridge in his hospital room kept cutting off and on all night and (2) the nurses kept coming to draw blood at all hours. He was offered a CPAP machine (which he regularly uses at home) but he declined it. I told him at least the hissing might've provided some white noise. Oh, well.

It turns out nothing was wrong with his heart, thank God. He was scheduled for a stress test at 11 am yesterday morning, but after having 3 sets of cardiac enzyme tests come back negative, the stress test was cancelled. He was relieved. He did have an elevated white blood cell count, but not abnormally high. He has a cold, so that could very well explain the high count.

After spending 3 hours filling out paperwork, hubby was discharged and went straight to Barnes & Noble to find a book called Sugar Busters. He's determined to get healthy so that he doesn't have a heart scare again. He's been exercising faithfully every night, but he wants to make his diet healthier. I don't blame him. We all need to do that around here.

So why do I love Wednesdays?

Well, this particular Wednesday I'm just happy to see sunshine outside my window. It's been grey and bleak the past few days, so it's nice to see the sun. That alone is a reason to love today. Wednesday has brought a return to our routine, which I crave. I had Aiden home on Monday and all the kids stayed home yesterday because I just didn't feel well enough to shuttle them to school and back (and I wanted them with me in case something happened to Stan). So today everyone is back at school and I'm feeling much better. I'm doing my regular chores, which I don't necessarily enjoy but they do bring me a sense of normalcy and satisfaction that I'm DOING something.

But there's one BIG reason I love Wednesdays...

I love Wednesdays the MOST because I get to spend time alone with this kid:



That's my Quinnie.

Stan picks Lillian up from school and takes her on a Daddy lunch date then drops her off at his mom's, so I get to pick up Quinn and spend about an hour with him before we go pick up Camryn and Aiden. We usually run an errand and pick up a treat. It doesn't matter what the treat is. Quinn's easy to please. It could be a doughnut from Dunkin or a cup of hot chocolate from Starbucks or a sundae from McDonald's. He just wants to spend the time alone with me, and I with him. We always have a good time, whether we're getting a car wash, going to Target or shopping for ornaments at Hallmark (today's fun outing!) I love my Wednesdays and my Quinnie dates!

Overheard: 5 seconds of my life

From the den about 30 seconds ago:

Aiden: It's wrestling, not boxing!

(Grunts and groans)

Quinn: Stop it! You're no match for me!

Lillian: Aiden! Your wrestling name is Big Foot.

Aiden: NO! I'm the Stopper.

Just a little Living Room theater for you this evening. Enjoy.

3 Things

(1) I found a prize in my Corn Pops box this morning! It's been a long, dry season when it comes to finding prizes in cereal boxes. I don't remember the last time I found a goody in there. When did manufacturers quit giving out prizes packed beneath their sugary nuggets of deliciousness? I miss that. I felt like a giddy child when my step counter fell into the bowl this morning. Woo hoo!

(2) I love Karen Carpenter. I have some of the Carpenters' music on my iPod and one of their songs just played. Yesterday Once More. A classic. Every sha la la la, every whoa oh oh still shines.

(3) Today is my Quinnie's 6th birthday and I'm not with him.



The hubby had an eye doctor conference to attend in my hometown, and we were all supposed to go. I've been so busy the past few weeks that I feel like I'm never going to catch up with all my chores. So, after asking my parents and my hubs if they would mind if I stayed home (and getting their okays), I stayed here. Sadly, that meant missing Quinn's birthday. My mom, dad, husband, daughters and son are taking him to a local Japanese restaurant (the kid LOVES the hibachi!) and he has a chocolate on chocolate (ICK) Cars cake to enjoy. I just missed waking him up and snuggling him on his 6th birthday. I'll make up for it tomorrow.

Guest Blogger (Kind Of)

This sure is turning out to be an Aiden-centric blog lately. Didn't mean it to be, but right now he's my favorite kid.

What? You don't find yourself having moments (days, weeks) where you have a favorite child? I do love each of my children equally and greatly, but sometimes there are stretches where I prefer the company of one kid simply because the other 3 are DRIVING ME BANANAS.

Right now Lillian is in a Tourette's phase. She sings spontaneously and loudly and repeats things A LOT. It's most annoying. And there's the yelling and the growling. She's the living incarnation of the strong willed child.

Quinn is in a "I can't get the words out of my mouth fast enough and therefore it's impossible to comprehend what I'm saying especially because I refuse to pronouce the letter R correctly, making me sound like I was born in Boston" phase. Arrrrrrr. Arrrrrr. Arrrrr... I sound like a pirate when I correct his speech.

Camryn is female, she's 10, on the cusp of womanhood and she thinks the world revolves around her. NO has suddenly disappeared from the list of words she comprehends. She can dish it, but she won't take it. 'Nuff said.

So that leaves Aiden. Sweet, do anything to please me Aiden. He's like a lap cat, that one. So docile and compliant and loves to be stroked, physically and emotionally. We totally get each other. He's so like me it's scary. Maybe that's why I like him so much. It's a form of narcissism.

The following was plucked from his Friday folder when I cleaned out his backpack over the weekend. I just had to share. I have typed it just as he wrote it, misspellings and all.

CREATION

I am glad that God created the day so that I can play.

I am happy God created the season winnter so that I can play in the snow.

I am delighted that God created the color red because I like red lightsabers.

I am pleased that God created the fruit/vegetable Bannana because I like Pennut budeer banana sanwichs.

I am excited that God created the animal tiger because I like the strips.

I am thankful God created the Sabbath when I can rest and play legos.

And God rested, and played Legos, and it was good.

No Books for Galactic Bounty Hunters

You know your 5 year-old son is a Star Wars freak when he sees this sign on the library door:



and says, "If Boba Fett wanted to come to the library, he couldn't bring his blaster."

(Boba Fett is the bounty hunter from the Star Wars movies, for those of you untouched by the Star Wars phenomenon.)

Simply Monday

For Today...

Outside my Window... It's overcast and muggy. I know it's muggy because I opened the window (1) to get some fresh air and (2) to warm up because the air vent is right over my head and it's FREEZING me to death. I know I should adjust the thermostat, but opening the window is easier right now.

I am thankful for... my kids' schools. I'm grateful that I have places that I trust where I can send my kids to be educated spiritually and academically... that there are kind, loving teachers at both schools that are willing to care for my children and nurture them while they're there.

From the kitchen... I need to clean out the fridge today. We're leaving for vacation tomorrow, so the fridge needs to be purged. Leftovers tonight for sure.

I am wearing... My pajamas, because 7:30 am came quite early to this lady who's been accustomed to rising after 9 am all summer. I still need to pack for tomorrow's departure, and I hate to get all sweaty doing that, so I'm holding off on the shower and clothing change until the packing's done.

I am reading... nothing right now, but I did read People magazine and Soap Opera Digest over the weekend. How's that for educational reading material?

I am hoping... to get the packing done before I have to pick Quinn up from school at 1:45. Should be easy if I can force myself to get off my behind and get to work. Easier typed than done.

I am hearing... Spongebob Squarepants. I've heard him too much this summer. The kids L*O*V*E Spongebob. I'm rather sick of him, and will not miss him when the kids finally get back to school. I'll still have to hear him occasionally, but I can deal with that.

I am creating... nothing much today. Too busy getting ready for vacation. In fact, I've not been in my scrapbook room in days. Too much going on around here.

Around the house... laundry to be folded, clothes to be packed, house to be tidied, dishes to be done. See why I shouldn't be sitting here typing this? It's called AVOIDANCE.

One of my favorite things... Philosophy's Amazing Grace fragrance. It just smells so clean and I love catching a whiff of it during the day. I use the body wash/shampoo and the conditioner. I love how it makes my hair smell. I got a free bottle of the fragrance this summer using my Ulta reward points, but I keep forgetting to spray myself with it.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week... Tomorrow I have a 9:30 am appointment to drop off my consignment items, and then we'll get on the road headed to Orlando, where we'll spend a week at Disney World. Despite the wet weather forecast, I know we'll have a blast. We always do!

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

Quinn started kindergarten today. Here he is with his teacher on his first day. Quinn has the same teacher Aiden had for kindergarten, so I suspect he'll be called Aiden quite a few times. He should respond to either name, because he's so accustomed to being called one of four names at home.

Prayer Request

My sweet Aiden has been sick for awhile. He had a stomach bug on Wednesday, June 25th, but seemed better the next day. I got it on the 28th, then Camryn was sick on the 29th. We thought it was just a bug working its way through the house.

Aiden threw up again on Tuesday the 1st of July, but again, seemed to get better. We packed up and got ready for our mountain vacation. The morning of the 3rd, Camryn and Aiden both got sick again. We went on our trip anyway, both children seemingly better by the time we got to the cabin.

We had an uneventful few days in the mountains, but on the morning of Sunday the 6th, Aiden got sick again. He spent the day in the car as we traveled home, then hit the couch as soon as we walked through the door. He stayed there, but ate a little bit and kept it down.

Then Quinn threw up before bed on Sunday night.

Monday everyone was again better. I thought maybe that was the last of it. I did the kids' laundry and packed them up for a week long stay with my parents.

Tuesday morning, Aiden was sick AGAIN. He decided he still wanted to go to my parents, so we left. We stopped at McDonald's on the way out of town and surprisingly, Aiden wanted an egg and cheese biscuit. He ate it and drank some Coke and kept it down. He ate a little lunch when we met my parents in Atlanta, and said he felt a ltitle better. He was fine on the trip to Birmingham.

I talked to the kids again last night. Aiden was sick again yesterday morning. So far, this has been going on over 2 weeks. I did some Google searches, and it only served to scare me. Cyclic vomiting syndrome and brain tumor are not things a mom wants to read when her son is over 300 miles from home.

The kids will be home on Tuesday. I'm scheduling a doctor appointment for Aiden on Wednesday. Until then, I can only pray that he won't be sick anymore, and that when I do take him to the doctor, it turns out to be nothing more than a lingering virus or something innocent like that.

Will you join me in praying for Aiden? Last night the last thing he said to me was, "Will you pray for me?" in a weak voice. I wanted to reach through the phone and hug him close. I know my parents are taking excellent care of him, but I feel helpless.

Mousetrap

The image below may be disturbing. Proceed with caution.
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READY?

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY?

REALLY, REALLY SURE?

OKAY. I WARNED YOU.
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This, my dear friends, is a dead mouse.



It was killed by a 5 year-old, a 3 year-old and a glass of iced tea.

The 5 year-old was told to go fetch the glass so I could fill it for dinner. The 3 year-old, who is the 5 year-old's constant shadow, jumped up and ran to get the glass herself. A fight ensued, and yes, there was much screaming, and then it got quiet. Somehow tea ended up all over my desk. Of course no one is admitting fault, but there were only two people in the room.

Towels were fetched, frantic drying began and appropriate punishments were handed out.

Dinner commenced with much crying and poking out of lower lips. Tension had eased by the end of supper. Happiness was restored to the land.

After dinner I sat down for a post-incident straightening of the desk, and I found the mouse to be non-functional. Screws were removed, some shaking took place, some tea splashed out of the cavity, and the mouse now works...intermittently. I can hear him weezing, poor thing. He's drowning in there. Splenda allergy, I guess.

Sadly, there is another dead mouse just like him in the closet. He died about 2 months ago. I guess this one will join his big brother in the dark closet (why can't I throw them away? I dunno. I guess I'm hoping for a miracle like in Pet Sematary. Whoooo... scary reincarnated mice!)

So I suppose tomorrow I'll pack up my Staples reward check and go rodent shopping. Let's hope the new one lasts a little longer than 2 months.