Funny Quips

I came across a page of funny sayings today. I thought I'd post some here.

Grab a drink and a snack and enjoy (though, maybe not too close to the keyboard...)

*Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
*Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
*If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
*Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
*A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
*A dry sense of humor is better than slobbering everywhere.
*Life in a vacuum sucks.
*A pessimist is never disappointed.
*Lottery: A tax on people who don't understand statistics.
*Hold a hard drive to your ear -- listen to the C:
*1024x768x256... Sounds like one mean woman.
*Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.
*DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...
*I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse.
*Canadian DOS prompt: EH?\>
*Computers can never replace human stupidity
*Why does the person that snores always fall asleep first?
*Experience: What you get when you don't get what you want
*If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
*Vuja De - the feeling you'll be here later.
*Whatever you delete today, you desperately need tomorrow.
*I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
*I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
*On the other hand, you have different fingers.
*I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
*Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?