A good chuckle

Every now and again I read a great joke that really makes me laugh out loud. Here are two.

I got the first one here. I apologize that it's written in all caps. Get over it. ; )

THREE WOMEN,TWO YOUNGER AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND.

THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED.

THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY.

'THAT WAS MY PAGER, SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.'

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG.

THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED ,SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE ,I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.'

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW-TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM.

SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.

THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.

THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID........ 'WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT... I'M GETTING A FAX!'

And here's another I got from my friend Holley. I could just picture Holley telling this one, which is part of the reason I laughed so hard when I read it, but it's still funny if'n you don't know Holley.

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.

When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.

God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.'

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned he went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true.The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.'

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?

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Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.