I *heart* Compliments

I went to a scrapbook event last night. It was the last workshop that my Creative Memories consultant was doing. Her husband lost his job and they might have to move, so she's quitting crops. It's sad, because I'll miss the monthly get togethers, meeting new friends and catching up with old ones.

I'll also miss the energy that those crops give me. I admit it, I'm a compliment ho. I love it when people sing my praises. I'm not good at accepting them, but I love hearing them. Who doesn't? (My love language, coincidentally, is Words of Affirmation. Go figger.

I tend to get a lot of compliments on my pages at these crops. I have a regular table that I sit at, and people have to pass by it on the way to the snacks, so I always get lingerers going and coming. I love it. (I didn't sit there for that reason, but it's a nice bonus!) I always go home from those crops with my self esteem tank overflowing. It keeps me going for a few days, so I'm really going to miss that monthly ego boost.

Last night I received kudos of a different kind. I was sitting at a different table, because I was late and my regular table was full when I arrived. I was sitting with a friend (S.) who is a friend of one of my friends (K.). We were laughing and chatting and having a great time. She looked at me and said, "I was talking to K the other day and I told her that I think you are one of the funniest people I know, and K said she agreed!" S went on to say that K also said she hasn't seen me in awhile and misses me and my sense of humor (K goes to my church, but her husband teaches a different Sunday school class than the one I attend, so I *don't* get to see her much!)

I fumbled around and made some lame attempt at a thank you, but my heart was bursting. I kinda think I'm funny, and my husband tells me I have a great wit, but it's something else when others tell you that.

I love making people laugh. It makes ME laugh to see other people chortle. I love that laughter that goes on and on for minutes. I love chuckling until my jaw and stomach muscles hurt. It just revives and renews me. A good laugh makes you momentarily forget all your troubles. I LOVE TO LAUGH.

I have had a tough year. In January I saw my doctor for depression and was put on medicine. I thought it was post partum depression (even though my youngest child was 16 months-old at the time of my diagnosis), but looking over my life I know that I have had depressive episodes throughout my life. It just took me a long time and a lot of help from my husband to help me see that I needed help. I fought it, because I didn't want to take drugs. I am a naturally happy person, and I thought that if I tried hard enough, I could make myself happy again.

It didn't work.

It's been almost a year now that I've been on Cymbalta. I am really just starting to feel like my old self again. I feel like I'm coming out of a fog. You know when you dream and you feel like everything is moving slower and doesn't seem as clear as it does in real life? You can shout but you feel like you're not being heard? That's how I've felt as a depressed person. Nothing was sharp. Everything seemed foggy. I was in my life but not living it. My life felt like it was moving along on a conveyor belt.

Now things are crisper, clearer, faster, louder. My joy is back. I am belly laughing again. I am *ME* again.

I love being me.