Today I'm going to begin a blog series. In the car today I was thinking about things about which to blog, and I came up with so many lists I wanted to make. The list kept getting longer and longer, and by the time I reached Camryn's school I was scribbling furiously so I wouldn't forget any of the topics.
Before I start the serious blogging, I have to relay what I saw on today's backwoods journey.
A mailbox.
But it wasn't any old mailbox.
It was a new mailbox owned, obviously, by a person who is at the same time lazy AND inventive.
You see, instead of fastening the mailbox to the wooden post with whatever rational people use to fasten mailboxes to posts, this person had used the Southern handyman's best friend.
Duct tape.
Brand new, shiny mailbox. Brand new yellow wooden post. Duct taped. Together.
Ahhhh, necessity is the mother of invention. It's also the 1st cousin, evidently.
Now, on with the blog.
TOP TEN THINGS I WOULD MISS... if they went away or were never invented
(1) My microwave
Nothing says, "I love you" to my kids like a nice, warm Hot Pocket for breakfast. (There are some things that should NOT be nuked, though. Fish sticks. Tater tots. A boy's gloves soaked by the snow. You catch my drift...)
(2) Water heaters
I don't know how the Little Family on the Prairie took proper baths. If I had to boil my bath water and/or wash my tushie in Laura's funky stew, I think I'd just prefer to stink (you know they shared tubs back then, right? It was a waste to replace the hot water for each person!)
(3) Cars
I'd probably weigh a lot less if I had to put 4 kids on the back of my bicycle, though.
(4) America's Funniest Home Videos (or AFV as they prefer nowadays)
Once they dumped that "I think my corny jokes are so funny, but I'm the only one laughing," Bob Saget, the show is actually not painful to watch. It's an enjoyable show that my whole family can sit in front of on a Sunday evening. We get the biggest kick out of it! I think I am more entertained by my husband and kids laughing than I am by the videos on the show.
(5) Internet
OH MY GOSH. How did I not think of this one first? I met my husband on the internet. I practically live my life on the web. How did I ever get along without thee, oh fiber optic cables of bliss? I guess Al Gore was good for something (I know, I know. He didn't invent the internet. It was a JOKE. He did invent global warming, though.)
(6) Tea bags and Splenda
(Technically that's two, but it's my blog, so shut up.)
I can't go a day without a tall frosty glass of iced tea sweetened with Splenda. I'll probably die an early death because the Splenda is eating up my insides, but I'll make sure everyone at the funeral gets a glass of iced tea, dahlin'!
(7) Elastic
Sometimes a girl just has to get out of her jeans, and it's at that time that elastic waisted pants are a girl's best friend.
Rule #1 of buffet grazing: NEVER wear jeans with buttons or zippers. If you're going to cram salad, soup, mac & cheese, rolls and assorted cakes and pies down your throat, you cannot be wearing anything constricting.
And that's just a little tip from me to you. No need to pay me. Just pass it on, friend. Pass it on.
(8) People magazine
My People usually comes on Friday or Saturday. There are 2 rules about my People: #1 I READ IT FIRST. No one else puts their grubby mitts on my magazine before I do. #2 I must take a long, hot, bubblish bath while reading People, so I can savor each delectable word without interruptions.
(9) The radio, or just music in general
What would life be without a soundtrack?
(10) My camera
'Cause when I'm old and grey and unable to do anything but sit in a chair, I want to remember every moment I lived. Even if I can't remember who I am or who my loved ones are, I want to know that the person in the photographs enjoyed a great life.
No comments:
Post a Comment