What Beth Needs

I saw this on my friend Meg's blog just minutes ago and thought it looked fun. What else do I have to do right now (that's a joke... I have about a million things to do right now. The top of the list? Laundry. You guessed it!)

Go to Google and type in quotes "[Your name] needs" and then post the first 10 things that show up. Here's what (according to Google) I need:

(1) Beth needs Facebook. Ain't that the truth! I get a daily dose. It's so addictive!

(2) Beth needs sitting and knitting. No thank you. I'm not a knitter.

(3) Beth needs the greatest American dog community message board. Again, no thank you. I am NOT a dog person at all. I like cats, because cats don't have to be walked outside to attend to their potty needs, they don't stink or require ME to bathe them, and they're generally pretty sedate in nature. Nice, calm animals. You won't ever see a dog in this house.

(4) Beth needs to retain the Woman's Championship at No Mercy against Candice to keep the division alive. M'kay. Don't know what that means. Maybe I can make a few calls and find out. I'd hate to kill the division, 'cause evidently it's up to me to keep it alive.

(5) Beth needs a dose of YODAA Love. Hmmm... is this like the little green Star Wars guy? 'Cause I'll pass, thanks. (Upon further examination, I found that YODAA is the Young Ostomate and Diversion Alliance of America. People who've had part of their intestines or colon removed. They even have a COLONder Get it? COLONder? How very clever!)

(6) Beth needs a laugh. And I'm gettin' it from doing this blog. COLONder. Get it? Still laughing about that one.

(7) Beth needs a wet, hot American summer. Why yes. Yes, I do.

(8) Beth needs her helmet on. Dangit. Ya caught me surfing without a helmet. I'll go get it right now. (Imagine a funny picture of me here wearing a big, pink Hello Kitty bicycle helmet. Sorry. That's all I got today. No actual pictures.)

(9) Beth needs the Guiding Light community message board. Really? People have nothing better to do than talk about soap operas? Why don't they get a life and spend time on Facebook like the rest of us?

(10) Beth needs help. No truer words were ever spoken.



COLONDER! Bwahahahahahaha!