Spin Cycle

There's nothing like a new spring romance.

And I'm in love, I tell you. LOVE. ENRAPTURED, even.

This gorgeous hunk of machine came into my life a little under two weeks ago. I was introduced to him by two Hispanic men.

He knows I'm using him, but he doesn't care. I load him up with dirty things, AND HE LIKES IT.
He lights up for me when I turn him on. He has the softest little beckoning call when he's done; he doesn't scream like other machines.

Oh, oh, oh.

His name?

Ken More.



He's just delicious.

No.

He's LAUNDRYlicious.

He's bigger than your average machine, and that's why I love him.

My old machine used to only hold two sets of twin sheets. Ken? He can hold FOUR.

That's right. I said FOUR. Jealous?

He's amazing.

Look at his buttons. Don't they just scream, "TOUCH ME! START ME UP!"?!?





He has a sanitary cycle. That means he gets my undies CLEAN.

Isn't he GORGEOUS?

Excuse me. I need a cigarette.