In golf, there's this thing called a Mulligan. Basically, if your golfing buddies agree to let you have it, it's your chance to try again without a penalty. It's a do-over. We don't get many Mulligans in life. But if we did... if there was one Mulligan you could take - one do-over - what would it be?
I had to think about this one. I really can't say that there are a lot of things I'd do differently in my life, because in one way or another, I've grown and stretched as a result of things that have happened. I really had to consider my answer to this question. I came up with three things.
The first one is silly, really. It's juvenile and I am embarrassed to even mention it.
I had my first date when I was in 9th grade. I went to see Mike Warnke, a Christian comedian, with a boy on whom I had a decent sized crush. He was funny, played the piano and spoke 5 languages. I was so excited to go out with him!
I acted totally dorky on the date. I didn't act like myself. Instead I acted like a stupid airhead, which was so not who I was.
He didn't ask me out again. I'd like to have that night back to prove I was a mature person that he would ask out for a second time. I saw him a few times in college and thought about asking *him* out, but I didn't have the courage.
Fast forward about 15 years or so. I had a c-section with my 3rd child. He was breech and I chose not to have him turned.
When I was 35 weeks pregnant with my 4th child, the ultrasound showed that she was large. The doctor suggested we schedule a repeat c-section, because most likely the baby would be large (I'd already had 3 children over 9 pounds.) I was really, really devastated. I knew my 4th pregnancy was my last, and I really wanted to try to have a VBAC. But, I listened to the advice of my doctors and tried to be at peace with my decision.
When Lillian Grayce was born, she weighed 9 pounds, 10 ounces. She was my second largest child weight wise. She was a tiny thing, though. All of the 0-3 month size clothes I had for her just hung on her. That wasn't the case with her 9 pound, 11 ounce sister. Camryn came out of the womb wearing 3-6 month clothing.
I knew the instant I saw Lillian that I could've pushed her out with no problem. I know it. I wish I had insisted on a VBAC. I just didn't have the b*lls to defy the doctors.
So those are my do-overs. With 33 years of living behind me, I guess 2 do-overs isn't bad, eh? I'm satisfied with most of the decisions I've made along the way. They've made me who I am.
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