No Consequences

No Consequences

"If you could live one day without consequences, what would you do?"

Gosh. The possibilities.

No consequences. Nobody finds out what I've done. Nobody knows. Nobody gets hurt. What WOULD I do?!?

If I had a day with no consequences, I would spend most of it without my children. Sorry, guys.

I only have 24 hours. Let's get this party started!

First I'd hop onto a private jet, which I would've rented for the entire day. I'd fly to some secluded, private beach and rent one of those little huts that sit right in the middle of the water. I'd lay in a hammock in the sun for a few hours, reading a book. The most delicious, calorie laden breakfast would be served to me on the deck of my hut. Fish would swim beneath my feet as I dined. There would be croissants, omelets made with the finest cheeses and eggs, pastries dripping with cream cheese and icing. Banana bread, blueberry muffins, Fruity Pebbles, Captain Crunch (both berry and peanut butter varieties!) WHOLE MILK, powdered donuts, and tons of Coca Cola served straight from GLASS bottles. I'm salivating.

After the beach I'd get back on the plane and head to some snowy place in the mountains of Colorado. I'd spend a couple of hours in an open field, tearing up the snow on my snowmobile. Then I'd relax in the hot tub for awhile to get warm. There would be a masseuse there to massage my aching muscles for about 2 hours. After the massage I'd enjoy all my favorite foods. I'd have to have egg rolls from Ming's Chinese restaurant, Stromboli steak sandwiches from Pasquale's, Cheeseburgers and seasoned crinkle fries from Milo's, Monte Cristo sandwiches from Bennigan's, Beer Cheese soup from Baby Doe's, Southwestern Egg Rolls from Chili's, Toasted Ravioli from The Olive Garden, Sensational Seven chocolate cake from Red Lobster (which they don't serve anymore!), ChimiCheesecakes from Applebee's, Mushroom Filets with Caramelized Onions from City Range, steak Fajitas from Cantinflas, The Peddler's salad bar (with unlimited vienna sausage!), potato salad from Mutt's BBQ, orange rolls from The Club in Birmingham, Johnny Ray's BBQ sandwiches, Bavarian pizzerts from Pizza Inn, Hibachi steak & shrimp with fried rice (and lots of shrimp sauce!) from Miyabi, a Caesar salad from ChopHouse 47, and one of my grandmother's homemade chocolate pies. I'd wash it all down with pitchers of amaretto sours.

After that feast I'd head back to the states. I'd pick up my husband and we'd spend a few hours at DisneyWorld in Florida (having rented it for the day, of course!) We'd ride TestTrack and Soarin' and Tower of Terror and Expedition:Everest a gazillion times each. I'd even ride Mission:Space since there are no consequences! We'd dine at the chef's table at Victoria & Albert's. We'd order EVERYTHING on the menu along with their best wines and champagnes. We'd spend an hour in the finest suite at the Grand Floridian... wink, wink.

I'd drop hubby off at the house (someone has to be with the kids!) I'd fly to the world's largest scrapbook store (wherever that is!) and buy them out. I'd hire a professional decorator and organizer to come redo my scrap room. They'd stay and redo the entire house as well. The house would be completely redone and decorated. Everyone would get new furniture. I'd replace everyone's linens with high thread count ones. I'd buy fluffy luxury towels (bath sheets!) for each bathroom.

I'd do some major shoe shopping. I'd replace my entire wardrobe. Heck, I'd replace everyone's entire wardrobe! (Woo hoo! new outfits for the kids from Gymboree, Hanna Andersson and April Cornell!)

I'd buy a new convertible black Saab with a killer sound system. I'd buy an iPod for my sister. I'd book an Alaskan cruise for my parents and a European cruise for myself and my husband. I'd have a pool put in the back yard. Landscapers would come and make my backyard look like The Secret Garden.

My sister and I would see every show on Broadway twice. Then we'd hop over to Chicago and get lucky enough to attend the taping of Oprah's Favorite Things show. Then I'd go appear on Jeopardy, The Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune.

I'd take abused children away from their parents and give them to people who would love them.
I'd pay off my parents' debts and build them a new house.

And after that, I'd be home in time to eat a simple dinner of fish sticks and macaroni and cheese with my kids. I would hug them and tickle them and kiss them, because I would realize that I missed them terribly. They'd tell me about their day and we'd giggle. We'd all crack up when someone burped. We'd make banana splits with everyone's favorite toppings and we'd read books until the kids' eyelids got heavy. My husband and I would tuck the kids into bed and we'd go to bed and whisper to one another in the dark until we fell asleep ourselves.

Then get up at midnight, because I'd realize I hadn't taken time to pee, and I'd feel weird because I couldn't recall a single minute from the day before except eating diner with my kids and falling asleep in my husband's arms.